Top 20 Signs You Might Be a Redneck If…

These Top 20 Signs You Might Be a Redneck If…were some of the funniest I came across. Gotta just love Jeff Foxworthy for making all of these up! Here’s just a “small sample” of his humorous stand-up comedy act.

Hope y’all ENJOY! 

Top 20 Signs You Might Be a Redneck If…

Top 20 Signs You Might Be a Redneck If...

1. You believe you got a set of matched luggage if you have two shopping bags from the same store.

2. You think “fast food” is hitting a possum at 65 MPH

 3. You think Sherlock Holmes is a housing project down in Biloxi.

4. You think a stock tip is advice on wormin’ your hogs.

5. You’ve been married 3 times and still have the same in-laws.

6. Your house still has the “Wide Load” sign on the back.

7. You got stopped by a state trooper and he asked you if you had an I.D. and you said, “Bout what?”

8. NASCAR stands for:  Non Athletic Sport Created Around Rednecks.

9. You think Possum is “The Other White Meat”.

10. You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.

11. You hooked up with your present girlfriend as a result of a message on the wall of the men’s room at the Flying J Truck Stop.

12. The centerpiece on your dining room table is an original signed work by a famous taxidermist.

13. You think a “quarter horse” is a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.

14. You think “safe sex” is a padded headboard.

15. If you can burp and say your name at the same time, you’re shur’nuff a redneck!

16. You believe dual air-bags refers to your wife and mother-in-law.

17. You’ve got more than one brother named “Darryl”.

18. You think watching professional wrestling is “foreplay”.

19. The people on “The Jerry Springer Show” remind you of you neighbors.

20. You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are…”Gentlemen, start your engines!!”

 

 

Source: http://www.jefffoxworthy.com/

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