Girls Night Out

girlsnightoutboo 

GIRLS NIGHT OUT

Two women friends had gone for a “girls night out.” They both were very faithful, loving wives… however, they had gotten a bit over enthusiastic on Margaritas at the Rio.

Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in a cemetery. One had nothing to wipe with so she decided to take off her panties and use them. Her friend, however, was wearing expensive panties and didn’t want to ruin them… luckily she had squatted next to a grave that had a fresh wreath with a ribbon on it… so she proceeded to wipe with that.

After the girls completed their “business” they continued toward home.

The following day, one of the husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed and hung over. He phoned the other husband, and said “These girls nights out have got to stop! I’m starting to suspect the worst! My wife came home with no panties!”

“That’s nothing!” said the other husband, “mine came back with a card stuck to her butt that read:

“FROM ALL OF US AT THE FIRE STATION… WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU!!!”

 

via: coolbuddy

 

24 Reasons Husbands Can’t Be Trusted To Do Anything Right

Some funny reasons why husbands can’t be trusted to do ANYTHING right. 

1. They should never be asked to fold fitted sheets.

They should never be asked to fold fitted sheets.

2. They should never be left to take care of infants.

They should never be left to take care of infants.

3. For real…

For real...

4. They should never be left alone near rivers, especially if there are children around.

They should never be left alone near rivers, especially if there are children around.

5. They should never be put in charge of making the lattice for your apple pie.

They should never be put in charge of making the lattice for your apple pie.

6. They should never be left in charge of the house or kids.

7. They should never be asked to watch the baby.

They should never be asked to watch the baby.

8. They should never be given access to googly eyes.

They should never be given access to googly eyes.

9. They should never be left alone with feminine products.

They should never be left alone with feminine products.

10. They should never be in charge of pest control.

They should never be in charge of pest control.

11. They should never be responsible for decorating anniversary cakes.

They should never be responsible for decorating anniversary cakes.

12. They should never be allowed to wrap the Christmas presents.

They should never be allowed to wrap the Christmas presents.

13. They should never be allowed to pump the gas.

They should never be allowed to pump the gas.

14. They should never be left in charge of lunch for tomorrow.

They should never be left in charge of lunch for tomorrow.

15. They should never be allowed near poetry fridge magnets.

They should never be allowed near poetry fridge magnets.

16. They should never be left in charge of the calendar.

They should never be left in charge of the calendar.

17. They should never be in charge of cleaning the shower.

18. They should never be in charge of dressing the kids.

They should never be in charge of dressing the kids.

19. They shouldn’t be allowed to design your mutual credit card.

They shouldn't be allowed to design your mutual credit card.

20. They should never be given access to label makers.

They should never be given access to label makers.

21. They should never be allowed on Pinterest.

They should never be allowed on Pinterest.

22. They should never have a credit card in the presence of ice cream. They’ll just use it as a spoon.

They should never have a credit card in the presence of ice cream. They'll just use it as a spoon.

23. They should never be in charge of naming new puppies.

They should never be in charge of naming new puppies.

24. They should never be told that they’re not allowed to drink beer near the new carpet.

They should never be told that they're not allowed to drink beer near the new carpet.

Source: buzzfeed