Wife Has Perfect Comeback To Husband’s Rude Comments

This wife gave her husband a taste of his own medicine with her witty response to his rude comments!  LOL

via

Her Body’s A Temple

Her Body’s A Temple

body-isatemple

Patrick O’Malley hoisted his beer and said: “Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!” – and he took home the top prize for the best toast of the night.

 

In bed later that night, he told his wife: “Mary, I won the prize for the best toast of the night.” She said, “Aye, Paddy, what was your toast?”

So he told her: “Here’s to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife.”

“Oh,” she said, “that is very nice, dear.”

 

The next day, Mary ran into one of Paddy’s drinking partners in the street. Mischievously, the man said: “Did you hear about your husband winning a prize in the pub the other night for a toast about you, Mary?”

She replied: “Aye – and I was a bit surprised. Till now, he’s only been down there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come”.

 
 via: irishjokes

 

24 Reasons Husbands Can’t Be Trusted To Do Anything Right

Some funny reasons why husbands can’t be trusted to do ANYTHING right. 

1. They should never be asked to fold fitted sheets.

They should never be asked to fold fitted sheets.

2. They should never be left to take care of infants.

They should never be left to take care of infants.

3. For real…

For real...

4. They should never be left alone near rivers, especially if there are children around.

They should never be left alone near rivers, especially if there are children around.

5. They should never be put in charge of making the lattice for your apple pie.

They should never be put in charge of making the lattice for your apple pie.

6. They should never be left in charge of the house or kids.

7. They should never be asked to watch the baby.

They should never be asked to watch the baby.

8. They should never be given access to googly eyes.

They should never be given access to googly eyes.

9. They should never be left alone with feminine products.

They should never be left alone with feminine products.

10. They should never be in charge of pest control.

They should never be in charge of pest control.

11. They should never be responsible for decorating anniversary cakes.

They should never be responsible for decorating anniversary cakes.

12. They should never be allowed to wrap the Christmas presents.

They should never be allowed to wrap the Christmas presents.

13. They should never be allowed to pump the gas.

They should never be allowed to pump the gas.

14. They should never be left in charge of lunch for tomorrow.

They should never be left in charge of lunch for tomorrow.

15. They should never be allowed near poetry fridge magnets.

They should never be allowed near poetry fridge magnets.

16. They should never be left in charge of the calendar.

They should never be left in charge of the calendar.

17. They should never be in charge of cleaning the shower.

18. They should never be in charge of dressing the kids.

They should never be in charge of dressing the kids.

19. They shouldn’t be allowed to design your mutual credit card.

They shouldn't be allowed to design your mutual credit card.

20. They should never be given access to label makers.

They should never be given access to label makers.

21. They should never be allowed on Pinterest.

They should never be allowed on Pinterest.

22. They should never have a credit card in the presence of ice cream. They’ll just use it as a spoon.

They should never have a credit card in the presence of ice cream. They'll just use it as a spoon.

23. They should never be in charge of naming new puppies.

They should never be in charge of naming new puppies.

24. They should never be told that they’re not allowed to drink beer near the new carpet.

They should never be told that they're not allowed to drink beer near the new carpet.

Source: buzzfeed

Wife Texts Husband She Brought A Dog Home While The Pic Shows A Coyote ….

When this wife, “Kayla Eby”, sends her husband Justin a text saying she brought home a dog,  but in the picture you can clearly tell it is a coyote,  hilarity ensues.  LOLOL

 

coyote01 coyote02 coyote03 coyote04 coyote05 coyote06 coyote07 coyote08 coyote09 coyote10 coyote11 coyote12

Image credits: Kayla Eby

More info: Facebook

source: boredpanda

 

Divorce Vs Murder

Joke of the day

 

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said,”I would like to buy some cyanide.”

The pharmacist asked,”Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband.

That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail!

All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now, that’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

pharmacist

 

Via:  google