Get Out Of The Car

Get Out Of The Car

 

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.

She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it!  Get out of the car!”

 

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The four men didn’t wait for a second threat.  They got out and ran like mad.

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat.  She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. 

She tried and tried, and then she realized why.  It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat. 

A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake.

The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing.

He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.

The moral of the story?  If you’re going to have a senior moment… make it memorable.

 

Husband Gets Banned From Walmart For Hilarious Reasons

This husband decided to have a little fun while his wife was doing some shopping at Walmart and ended up getting himself banned from the store!  ROFLMAO

 

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Source: thelisticles

 

Clean Up At Register 2 Please!

Clean Up At Register 2 Please!

Register

 

Some men REALLY know how to go “shopping” for trouble…that’s for DAMN sure! 

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt at register 2 to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,” You must be single.”

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single.

She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?”

The drunk replied, “‘Cause you’re ugly!”

The cashier proceeded to make the following call over the intercom: “Clean Up At Register 2 Please!”

Source: amazingaustralia.com