25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind

These riddles will make you think long and hard…but TRY to get your minds out of the gutter people! 

 

1. What goes in dry and hard, but comes out wet and soft?

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind
New Line Cinema / Via gifrific.com

Chewing gum, you perv!

2. Your finger fits right in it. You play with it when you’re bored. Once you’re married, you’re stuck with the same one forever. What is it?

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind

A ring! Get your mind out of the gutter!

3. What’s at least 6 inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun if it vibrates?

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind

A TOOTHBRUSH. COME ON.

4. You play with it at night before bed. You can’t be seen fiddling with it at work. You only let very, very special people touch it. What is it?

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind

Your smart phone! DUH.

5. What’s long and hard and has cum in it?

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind
NBC / Via bookriot.com

A cuCUMber. Haha, got you.

6. What does every woman have that starts with a “V” and that she can use to get what she wants?

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind

Her VOICE, you sexist asshole.

7. What goes up, lets out a load, and then goes back down?

An elevator. You’re a disgusting human being.

8. What do men keep in their pants that their partners sometimes blow?

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind
CBS / Via stylecaster.com

MONEY. Your mind is basically a citizen of the gutter.

9. What’s made of rubber, handed out at some schools, and exists to prevent mistakes?

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind

ERASERS. Safety first, kiddos!

10. People think these are better when they’re longer, but short ones can be really powerful, too, and there is totally such a thing as TOO long. What are they?

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind

TWEETS. 140 characters is not enough to express how gross your imagination is.

11. What’s most useful when it’s long and hard?

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind

A college education.

12. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s is really long. Michael J. Fox’s is really short. Mickey Mouse’s isn’t human. Madonna doesn’t have one. What is it?

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind

A last name. Did you really think… Oh my god.

13. If you put three fingers into these holes, it’s gonna be a shocker. What am I talking about?

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind

A POWER OUTLET. BECAUSE THAT WOULD GIVE YOU AN ELECTRIC SHOCK. DON’T DO IT.

14. What starts with “p” and ends with “orn” and is the hottest part of the movie industry?

POPCORN, OBVIOUSLY.

15. It’s fun to do, but you hate knowing your parents do it, too. What is it?

Columbia Pictures / Via gifatron.com

FACEBOOK. WOW. You’re so twisted.

16. Every man has one, some are big, some are small. Blowing them feels great, but they drip if you aren’t careful. What are they?

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind

Noses. They’re noses. Why would you even think… Ugh.

17. What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, has choked people when used improperly, and works best when jerked?

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind

Seatbelts. Ew, man.

18. What’s white, gooey, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind

Toothpaste. Dental hygiene is so important. You sick freak.

19. What gets wetter when things get steamy?

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind

Steam boats! An integral part of the evolution of marine travel!

20. They’re powerful and fun, especially when you put your fingers in them. What are they?

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind

Bowling balls! Hahahahahahahaha. I know what you were thinking…

21. Some people prefer being on top, others prefer being on the bottom, and it always involves a bed.

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind

A BUNK-BED. Dumbass.

22. What’s squishy, bouncy, and comes in pairs?

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind

Two bunnies!

23. You get a lot of it if you’re important and successful, you get less when you’re just starting out. You sometimes do it with yourself if you need to, but it’s a lot better when it’s with other people.

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind

Email. Calm down.

24. What’s beautiful and natural, but gets prickly if it isn’t trimmed regularly?

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind

Grass. Like, on a lawn. Your brain is such a nasty place.

25. What’s messy and difficult to clean up after sex?

25 Riddles That Will Prove You Have A Filthy Mind

FEELINGS. Yeah. Bet you feel like a dick now.

 

Via: buzzfeed.com

After Sex Comments By Sun Sign

According to YOUR sun sign, what is your funny after sex comment? Let’s see if any of these are accurate…shall we? **ADULT CONTENT**

sun-signs

Via: dumpaday.com