31 Redneck DIYs That Are Borderline Genius

Redneck DIYs That Are Borderline Genius! 

So go ahead and keep your bourgeois “life hacks” cause these Redneck ideas got it goin’ on!

1. Boiler Pot Hot Tub

Boiler Pot Hot Tub

Also doubles as a fast and easy way to boil crawdads.

2. Duct Tape Hammock

Duct Tape Hammock

3. Tennis Racket Strainer

Tennis Racket Strainer

It even has a cushioned handle. So take that, colander!

4. Wifebeater Baby Carrier

Wifebeater Baby Carrier

That’s one of the happiest looking babies I’ve ever seen.

5. Clothes Hanger Muffler Fix

Clothes Hanger Muffler Fix

Brilliant.

6. Snow Beer Cooler

Snow Beer Cooler

Brilliant AND energy-saving.

7. Armchair Car Seats

Armchair Car Seats

8. Fan Leaf Blower

Fan Leaf Blower

Aren’t normal leaf blowers SO loud and annoying? This method is way more respectful towards the neighborhood.

9. Beer Can Hot Rollers

Beer Can Hot Rollers

The beer cans retain heat so you’ll get lasting big bouncy curls.

10. Duct Tape Drink Holder

Duct Tape Drink Holder

11. Sofa Bunk Beds

Sofa Bunk Beds

Doubles as tiered home cinema seating.

12. SUV Water Skiing

SUV Water Skiing

This guy is having so much more fun than anyone has had in the Hamptons, ever.

13. $2 Spoiler

$2 Spoiler

14. Mason Jar Mailbox

Mason Jar Mailbox

So much more functional than keeping candles in them or whatever it is people do on Pinterest.

15. Toilet Senior Scooter

Toilet Senior Scooter

16. Plastic Fork Razors

Plastic Fork Razors

If you actually pay $15 for a Mach III razor, you’re a chump.

17. Makeshift Side Mirror

Makeshift Side Mirror

18. Bungee Cord Computer Holder

Bungee Cord Computer Holder

So handy on long road trips!

19. Popcorn Smoke Alarm

Popcorn Smoke Alarm

20. Drink Tray Visor

Drink Tray Visor

This is one of the more sustainable uses I’ve ever seen for a styrofoam drink tray.

21. Flat Screen TV Installation

Flat Screen TV Installation

22. Pick Up Truck Swimming Pool

Pick Up Truck Swimming Pool

Can you do this with your silly little Volkswagen??

23. Rooftop Slip n’ Slide

Rooftop Slip n' Slide

DOING THIS.

24. DIY Air Pump

DIY Air Pump

Seems legit.

25. Patio Chair BBQ Grill

Patio Chair BBQ Grill

26. Washing Machine Beer Cooler

Washing Machine Beer Cooler

This is a life-changing tip of the day if I ever saw one.

27. Power Drill Mixer

Power Drill Mixer

As is this one.

28. Ruler/Can Lid Pizza Cutter

Ruler/Can Lid Pizza Cutter

This kind of deserves a Nobel Prize.

29. Home Stereo Car Stereo

Home Stereo Car Stereo

You can make mix tapes WHILE you’re driving! (Don’t do that.)

31. Impromptu Roof Deck

Impromptu Roof Deck

A patio with a view.

 

Source: buzzfeed

Redneck Vasectomy

Redneck Vasectomy

 

redneck-vasectomy

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn’t want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Alabamian said to the doctor, “I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don’t see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me”.

“Trust me,” said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

“1”

“2”

“3”

“4”

“5”

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, an resumed counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in Kentucky, Mississippi, and West Virginia.

via

 

20 Things You’re Bound To See In The South

People in the South are a lot more fun to be around anyway. Hope y’all come back now…ya hear?

1. This truck.

This truck.

Angie Linder / CC BY-SA http://2.0 / Flickr: technochick

2. This news headline.

This news headline.

bob walker / CC BY-SA http://2.0 / Flickr: rjw1

“Man forced to eat beard.”

3. This parking lot.

This parking lot.

James Willcox / CC BY-SA http://2.0 / Flickr: snorp

4. This auto shop.

This auto shop.

Anthony Neff / CC BY-ND http://2.0 / Flickr: 26424952@N00

5. This hot tub.

This hot tub.

Caleb Drost / CC BY-ND http://2.0 / Flickr: drostphotos

6. This old feller.

This old feller.

Helgi Halldórsson / CC BY-SA http://2.0 / Flickr: 8058853@N06

7. This sign.

This sign.

Patrick Lyddy / CC BY-ND http://2.0 / Flickr: biggaypat

8. Or this sign.

Or this sign.

Gerry Dincher / CC BY-SA http://2.0 / Flickr: gerrydincher

9. Or maybe this sign.

Or maybe this sign.

Ben Ostrowsky / CC BY http://2.0 / Flickr: sylvar

10. This truck decal.

This truck decal.

Tricia / CC BY-SA http://2.0 / Flickr: elvissa

11. These hair rollers.

These hair rollers.

Naomi Lir / CC BY-SA http://2.0 / Flickr: billiejoesentourage

12. These industrious young men.

These industrious young men.

Peter Linehan / CC BY http://2.0 / Flickr: p_linehan

13. This barbecue grill.

This barbecue grill.

Brendan Riley / CC BY-SA http://2.0 / Flickr: digitalsextant

14. This wreathe

This wreathe

k rupp / CC BY http://2.0 / Flickr: krupptastic

15. This motorcycle.

This motorcycle.

Insomnia Cured Here / CC BY-SA http://2.0 / Flickr: tom-margie

16. This ferocious lion.

This ferocious lion.

istolethetv / CC BY http://2.0 / Flickr: istolethetv

17. This fire alarm.

This fire alarm.

Lester Luallin / CC BY-ND http://2.0 / Flickr: lesterofpuppets

18. This proud pet owner.

This proud pet owner.

ActiveSteve / CC BY-ND http://2.0 / Flickr: activesteve

19. This boat.

This boat.

mbtrama / CC BY http://2.0 / Flickr: mbtrama

20. This Santa Claus.

This Santa Claus.

Joe Ross / CC BY-SA http://2.0 / Flickr: joeross

‘MERICA!

'MERICA!

Tambako The Jaguar / CC BY-ND http://2.0 / Flickr: tambako


If It Looks Stupid and it Works, Then it Ain’t Stupid

Just because it looks stupid, doesn’t mean it is.  You can’t knock it if it works!

 

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Source Via:  pleated-jeans.com

 

Southern cops have a way with words!

These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:

1. “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”

2. “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”

3. “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.” (My Favorite)

4. “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

5. “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.” (LOVE IT)

6. “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”

7. “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”

8. “Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”

9. “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”

10. “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.”

11. “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”

12. “In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC.”

( National Crime Information Center )

13. “Just how big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?”

14. “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”

15. “I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”

AND THE WINNER IS….

16. “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.”

southern-cop

Top 20 Signs You Might Be a Redneck If…

These Top 20 Signs You Might Be a Redneck If…were some of the funniest I came across. Gotta just love Jeff Foxworthy for making all of these up! Here’s just a “small sample” of his humorous stand-up comedy act.

Hope y’all ENJOY! 

Top 20 Signs You Might Be a Redneck If…

By Source, Fair use, wikipedia

1. You believe you got a set of matched luggage if you have two shopping bags from the same store.

2. You think “fast food” is hitting a possum at 65 MPH

 3. You think Sherlock Holmes is a housing project down in Biloxi.

4. You think a stock tip is advice on wormin’ your hogs.

5. You’ve been married 3 times and still have the same in-laws.

6. Your house still has the “Wide Load” sign on the back.

7. You got stopped by a state trooper and he asked you if you had an I.D. and you said, “Bout what?”

8. NASCAR stands for:  Non Athletic Sport Created Around Rednecks.

9. You think Possum is “The Other White Meat”.

10. You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.

11. You hooked up with your present girlfriend as a result of a message on the wall of the men’s room at the Flying J Truck Stop.

12. The centerpiece on your dining room table is an original signed work by a famous taxidermist.

13. You think a “quarter horse” is a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.

14. You think “safe sex” is a padded headboard.

15. If you can burp and say your name at the same time, you’re shur’nuff a redneck!

16. You believe dual air-bags refers to your wife and mother-in-law.

17. You’ve got more than one brother named “Darryl”.

18. You think watching professional wrestling is “foreplay”.

19. The people on “The Jerry Springer Show” remind you of you neighbors.

20. You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are…”Gentlemen, start your engines!!”

 

 

Source: http://www.jefffoxworthy.com/