A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. One day she asked Johnny what his problem was he replied, “I’m too smart for the first grade, my sister is in the third grade and I’m smarter than her too.”
The teacher took him to the principal’s office and explained the situation to the principal. The principal told her that he would give Johnny a test, and if he failed to answer one question he would have to go back to the first grade and be quiet. The teacher and Johnny both agreed.
Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Principal: “6 x 6?”
And so it went on like this, the principal asked him every question a third grader should know. Finally after about an hour he told the teacher “I see no reason Johnny can’t go to the third grade, he answered all of my questions right.”
The teacher asked if she could ask him some questions. The principal and Johnny agree.
Teacher: “What does a cow have 4 of that I only have 2 of?”
Teacher: “What do you have in your pants that I don’t have?”
The principal gasps but before he can stop him from answering Johnny says, “Pockets.”
Teacher: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”
Teacher: “What starts with F and ends with K and means a lot of excitement?”
The principal breaths a big sigh of relief and says “Put Johnny in the fifth grade, I got the last 4 questions wrong myself.”
What, you ask, is ‘Butt dust’? What do you do or say, when an innocent child asks you something so innocent and they are so serious? Read on and you’ll discover the joy in it! These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative!!
JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister… After a while he asked: ‘Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?’
MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn’t remember any more. Melanie said, ‘If you don’t remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.’
STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. ‘I love you so much that when you die I’m going to bury you outside my bedroom window.’
BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she’d have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: ‘How does it know it’s me?’
SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. ‘Please don’t give me this juice again,’ she said, ‘It makes my teeth cough.’
DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: ‘How much do I cost?’
CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, ‘I don’t know what’ll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?’
MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: ‘Why is he whispering in her mouth?’
TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, ‘Why doesn’t your skin fit your face?’
JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: ‘The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt. ‘ Concerned, James asked: ‘What happened to the flea?’
The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget….
This particular Sunday sermon… ‘Dear Lord,’ the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face.
‘Without you, we are but dust….’ He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, ‘Mom, what is butt dust?’
No matter what people try to tell you, our blood is always red. So why do our veins look blue? It’s because there are different wavelengths with different properties hitting our arm when we look at it. The blue light just happens to be absorbed by the blood and make it back to your eye.
The answer: it doesn’t. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not the tryptophan (an amino acid that makes up the brain chemicals that make you tired) in the turkey that makes you sleepy. It’s actually the sheer amount of food and beverage you’ve consumed during your holiday meal.
Without hearing the Spice Girls in an interview, you probably wouldn’t have guessed they were British (unless you took a look at their outfits!). This has everything to do with phonetics and cadence. Singers who speak with an accent are forced to completely lose it when they have to stress certain syllables in a song and elongate their vowels. The result ends up sounding almost “American.”
Almost everyone craves a big ol’ plate of greasy food after a night of drinking, but why? It’s high in fat, high in calories, and you’d probably never eat any other time. The reason behind this craving is a brain chemical called galanin, which increases your appetite for fats. Since alcohol increases your body’s production of galanin, you’re going to want that big fat breakfast pronto.
You can thank the National Minimum Drinking Age Act of 1984 for this one. So while it’s largely up to each state to decide their legal drinking age, this law told these states that they had to enact a minimum drinking age of 21 or else they would lose 10% of their highway funding. Since no state wanted to give up that funding, that means that no one under the age of 21 can legally purchase or publicly possess alcohol.
What’s the difference between “&” and “and” in movie credits?
It looks like a vegetable, but it’s classified as a fruit. Or is it the other way around? The tomato is technically a fruit since it protects and contains the seeds of its plant, but according to a Supreme Court ruling, is is classified as a vegetable. Why? The Tariff Act of March 3, 1883 required a tax to be paid on imported vegetables, but not fruit, and they didn’t want any tomato farmers going untaxed.
Why do we say “cheese” when we get our pictures taken?
Most of us know Germany as, well, Germany. But to the Germans, they known their homeland as Deutschland. The simplest explanation is that languages pre-date countries, sometimes by centuries. So when small settlements joined together to create countries, like Germany, there were multiple names for the region, depending on the language. It’s all in who you know.
Scientists have figured out why our fingers and toes get wrinkly during bathtime. It actually has nothing to do with absorbing the water, and everything to do with improving our grip on things underwater. Think of it like the treads in a tire giving a much better grip in slippery conditions. The human body is amazing.
Why does the letter U almost always accompany the letter Q?
The reason for this pairing is because QU is a digraph, which is a pair of letters that represents a single sound. In this case, it’s “kw.” Basically, the two are treated as a single character in the English language, mostly from borrowed words from Latin. Q’s without U’s aren’t as common, but can be found in words like Iraq.
How do magnets work?
“Magnets: how do they work?” Actually, The Insane Clown Posse asked a good question. According to Northeastern University, a magnet is simply any object that produces its own magnetic field and interacts with other magnetic field. Magnets have two poles (north and south) and the magnetic field starts and the north pole and ends at the south pole. via Northeastern University
So if you have two magnets next to each other, and their north poles are facing each other, you will feel them repel. And when you place a north pole next to a south pole, they will attract. Science.
You have to pluck them and prune them, so why do they even exist? Aside from being a very distinct feature on your face that helps you communicate, there’s actually a very good reason eyebrows exist. If you’ve ever run longer than to catch a bus, you know just how sweaty your forehead can get – sweat can even drip down into your eyes and cause temporary blindness. And that’s why your eyebrows exist. Consider them a built-in headband!