How Does The Sun Work? This Guys Girlfriend Hasn’t A Clue

WOW!  Hard to believe how the sun works has her sooo stumped.  LOL

 

Source: youtube

 

25 Of The Dumbest Questions Customers Have Ever Asked

Ask Reddit asked… What is the dumbest question a customer has ever asked you?

 

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Source and Image credits: BoredPanda

Celebrity Instagram Photos Hilariously Recreated By Celeste Barber

Celeste Barber, an Australian comedian, definitely has a talent for recreating Celebrity Instagram photos that will literally have you laughing your ass off.  Check them out!

 

1.  Dear hot husband, STOP acting like you love it!

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2  Living the dream

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3.  You guys make me want to hang my head out the window and scream “I’m better than everyone!”

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4.  Pull your hair.  Put on a full length jacket (if budget allows) and fall in the water.

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5.  Selfie game strong…

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6.  Bums…Balls…Boobs.

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7.  Being a Model is much harder than you think.

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8.  Privileged people only travel in style.

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9.  Put your swimmers on.  Get a chicken…and take a photo.

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10 Hiking and twerking, obviously.

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11.  Don’t you hate it when you are doing your nails and you get a cramp?

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12. Remember to believe in your dreams.

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13. Lady Gaga an I progressing nicely at Paddle Board Yoga.

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14. Waking up feeling SEXY.

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15. Real love is perfect, flawless, acrobatic, stylised, timed and photogenic.

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16. F**k YOU gravity!

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17. Put on a Gimp an Iron Man mask and lie in the sand.

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18. Goooood morning Saturday!

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19. Hygiene is BIG business.

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20. Us Aussies know how to keep it nice.  Am I right?

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Source: boredpanda

 

How Likely Are You To Cheat? See What Your Horoscope Sign Might Reveal

Some people are more tempted than others to cheat.  Is it possible your horoscope sign can reveal the relationship mistakes you are going to make? Maybe even if you are prone to cheating?  See below to check out what your odds are.

 

VIRGO

Virgos are often reliable, smart and practical. But they can be perfectionists, cranky and negative. All these different sides of you add up to you being faithful, although you may cheat out of spite. Try to stay level-headed and work on making your current thing perfect.

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PISCES

Pisces are people who truly feel. Artistic in nature, they are also generous, compassionate and faithful. Though you have bouts of sadness and many fears, you detest being alone. Therefore, you are very likely NOT to cheat. But if you do happen to, you’ll feel much guilt over it for a long time. Having an equally creative and kind partner will boost your own good qualities and keep you stuck to them.

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LEO

Everyone knows Leos like to be the center of attention. But they are also proud, courageous and loyal. Despite your loyalty, your need to be in the spotlight may cause you to wander away to someone who will put you on a pedestal. Make sure your partner knows you need extra attention like gifts and sex.

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AQUARIUS

An aquarius is hard not to love. They are truthful, fair and affectionate. Yet you may be unpredictable and you’re interested in many things, so it makes it hard for you to focus on just one. Though you are flirty, you are a one guy/gal kinda person. Lock that down!

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CANCER

While Cancers are very emotional, they still need stability. You may be pessimistic about your current relationship, but your loyalty will make you less likely to cheat than other signs. While you often put others first, you may drag on a dead relationship for fear of hurting the other person.

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CAPRICORN

Determination and ambition are both enviable qualities. You are, however, also conceited and untrusting. Both the positives and negatives about you may want you to jump in the sack with someone at work. You need a partner who is as driven and career focused as you. No scrubs!

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GEMINI

Ah, the twins. Gemini have a lot of facets to their personality, which makes them indecisive. Their good qualities are that they are sociable, communicative and fun. But because you are restless, you might get swept away by a stranger who can give you what your current partner cannot. Try making a list of your current man/woman’s positive traits and learn to fall in love with them again.

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SAGITTARIUS

Curious, energetic and extroverted, a Sagittarius loves life. Because of your wanderlust, you often grow impatient. You are also bad at keeping things on the DL, so an affair wouldn’t be kept secret. You could stray if your partner isn’t giving you what you need in the bedroom. So communicate with your S.O. and tell them to spice it up.

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TAURUS

Taurus are reliable, sensual, loyal and practical. They are, however, stubborn and possessive. While you might see the word “loyal” and think you won’t cheat, being sensual is also a major part of your personality. There’s a good chance you might look elsewhere. While others rely on you, it’s hard for you to rely on others. Spice up things with your partner in the bedroom!

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SCORPIO

Scorpios are notoriously sexy and passionate. They like to sow their wild oats, be as fierce as Tyra and intense with everything and everyone. But you actually crave security and devotion making you less likely to cheat than find that special someone for the long haul.

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ARIES

Aries are supposed to be spontaneous, daring, active and energetic. In their faults, Aries are vain, egotistic and impatient. So it’s no wonder they have a wandering eye. If you’re partner doesn’t put your first, you have a tendency to say, “Bye, Felicia!” Communication is especially important when you are an Aries.

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LIBRA

Hot and heavy, Libras appreciate the beautiful things in life. You might stress yourself out because it’s hard for you to say no to people. You’d think it’d make sense for you to be a cheater, you probably won’t do it physically. But you will admire prospects from afar. There’s nothing wrong with a little crush!

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Source: americanflare

 

 

 

A Ton Of F*cks

ton of fucks

You’re born with a ton of fucks to give, so you spend them like a kid with a credit card. You give fucks about your friends, about your grades, about your fashion sense, about strangers’ opinions. You give way too many fucks about way too many things. You have so many.

Then, as you get older, you have maybe 10 fucks per month, so you learn to budget them. You allocate fucks to family and career, but there aren’t enough fucks to give to the newest fads. Oh, someone at work has something they need my help with that’s outside my job title? I’ll do my best to allocate some fucks, but this month is pretty tight.

Then, as you get even older, you’re down to 1-2 fucks per month, and those fucks are pretty damn precious. You give them to your family and your hobbies and your job, and that’s kinda it. It’s not your fault – fucks expire too quickly. I would’ve liked to save my fucks from when I was younger, but I can’t.

Then, you hit fuck insolvency. You’re getting like 1 fuck a year, and you have to make it last. So you go without, and even previously fuck-worthy things, you just can’t give a fuck. Some people run out really quickly, Some people have a fuck trust fund that pays out a decent amount even into old age.

But at some point, the fuck faucet runs completely dry and you’re out of fucks to give. It’s just basic Fuckonomics.

Via: Oflispeaks.com

The Fat Jew

 

Guy Takes Matters Into His Own Hands After Hearing Kids Abusive Remarks To His Mother

This guy may or may not have taught the abusive little brat anything but I bet it was an experience he won’t soon forget!  LMAO

 

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Student Captures People’s Faces When Told They Are Beautiful

An 18 year old student from Chicago, named Shea Glover, conducted an independent project which evidently turned into a social experiment regarding beauty.

She invited a bunch of people, some of whom she knew, some total strangers, and asked them to pose in front of her camera. As they were standing there, Glover would tell them the purpose of her project:

“I’m taking pictures of things I find beautiful,” she said…

The impact of her words had a very emotional effect on her subjects.  Check out the pictures and the video below to see the effect of what one kind word can do for you.

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Watch the full video below and see their reactions for yourself:

[wpsm_video]https://www.youtube.com/embed/aW8BDgLpZkI[/wpsm_video]
Source: youtube

Via: aplus

Design Fails That Should Have Been Discovered Prior To Completing

I think they need to go back to the drawing board with these design fails! LOLOL

 

Whatever the “F” means…

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Coming ain’t helping either.

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Carpeting like a boss!

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How do you propose we do that?

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That was clearly visible, c’mon…

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Mega reason to get in there.

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Subliminal inception pencils.

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When you make things just perfect, the sign is for noobs.

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Should have studied Venn diagrams properly.

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With that sticking out, and the yellow around, couldn’t have been much worse!

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Source: wittyfeed

Ad Placements You Will Likely Remember

Ad placements as clever as these, you will definitely remember!

Hungry Hungry Homerad 01Is this advertising The Simpsons or donuts? Maybe a little bit of both? Either way, it’s very clever!

Ramping Up the Advertising ad 02This IBM advertisement is really cool. It says about smart ideas for smart cities and gives a ramp to help people with walking.

Climb Every Mountain ad 03These steps might just look like steps. But for someone who is disabled they’re a mountain. Very effective.

Folgers Coffee ad 04The best part of waking up is Folgers in your… road. Looks a lot better than a manhole doesn’t it?

Watch Out ad 05These straps on public transportation are so clever. They look just like watches. Whenever someone puts a strap around their wrist, it looks as if they are wearing that watch.

Mr. Clean ad 06Look at how well Mr. Clean wiped that line clean!

Homelessness ad 07 This very effectvely shows how hard it is to get off of the street. Homelessness is a big problem.

Hot Wheelsad 08 Better watch out or the kids will want to ride your car through this loop. Pretty cool, huh?

Give Me a Break!ad 09Yum, this bench looks good enough to eat. Don’t you just want a KitKat right now?

Stuttering Awareness ad 10Stuttering is a big problem. This is a great way to show what people who have this problem go through every day. It also gives them a voice.

 

Source: zingery

Craigslist Ad For Dog Walker Goes Viral

craigslist ad dog walkerVia: ifweweredogs

A dog-walking Craigslist ad has gone viral on the internet, and for good reason: It’s hilarious.

Why you ask?

Well, first here’s the intro:

HEY RICH-ASS DOG OWNERS:

Are you at the office 23 hours a day in a coke-fueled effort to squeeze every last penny out of your 20’s and 30’s?

Are you going out of town with your post-divorce trophy-girlfriend to visit your slave ship collection in the Barbados?

Do you work for a corporation that received Tarp money?

I AM YOUR DOG-WALKER

And then it continues with beauties such as:

Do I have experience walking dogs?

I’M A HUMAN BEING, OF COURSE I HAVE EXPERIENCE WALKING DOGS. THIS ISN’T LINEAR ALGEBRA, FOLKS; ITS DOG-WALKING

Are you one of those prototypical American success stories who worked your way up from nothing to live the dream, and now you want to gloat over an Ivy League grad who has been reduced to posting a dog-walking classified on skeezy-ass Craigslist?

You can shadow me while I walk! Take pictures of my pathetic face as I handle your dog’s feces with nothing but a plastic bag over my hand! I’ll wear my Princeton lettermen’s Sweater! I might even Cry!

And:

I’M JUST A GUY WHO WANTS YOUR MONEY AND WILL WALK YOUR DOG TO GET IT.

Do I do overnights?

YOU BET YOUR BOATHOUSE, BUDDY!

I will sleep in your sweet-ass apartment and tend to your dog while doing it. Don’t want my poor-person skin sullying your ostrich-feather sheets? I’ll sleep on the floor! Don’t want my poor-person hair secreting oils all over the pearl-white tiles? I’ll sleep in the crate with the dog! Sh*t as long as I’m allowed to turn on the heat, I’ll curl up in a ball and sleep in your sink WHILE THE WATER RUNS OVER MY NAKED BODY!

Am I going to steal your jewelry? No I’m not. Am i going to jack your electronics? No way man. Am i gonna eat some of your food? Probably, but nothing you’ll miss, maybe an apple.

Then ends on this note:

I’M NOT ABOUT TO TAKE A BATH IN YOUR FOIE GRAS, MONEYBAGS.

I’m a good guy, and I’m just looking to make a little extra cash by chaperoning your dog around your stupid white bread sidewalks. So if your interested in the dopest, most swagged-out LEGEND OF THE UNIVERSE dog-walking champion in Seattle, reply to this ad and we’ll get started in making your dog happier than a Mormon on his honeymoon.

So act now, write me. I’m excited to meet you and your dog, and I’m sure…that your dog is excited to meet me, too.

Serious inquiries only, please

Sadly, this post isn’t actually for real. Mother Jones recently revealed that the postee actually uploaded it as a joke. However, he’s gotten a mountain of replies! As he told them when they reached out for comment:

“Ummm… I posted this as a joke. I have surprisingly gotten people that want me to walk their dogs. Ive got more marriage proposals and offers for sex more than anything. I prefer to remain anonymous but i will tell you that I am married with a daughter and contrary to my post (that is a joke) I make a comfortable living and I’m pretty much your average joe family man. The reason I posted it is to show what happens when you go to college and stack up student loans and dont have a plan afterwards. you’ll turn out having to walk dogs with a sh**ty outlook on society.”

Well played, sir. Well mutherpuppin’ played.

 

Source: barkpost

 

Psychological Life Hacks To Give You An Advantage

These psychological life hacks have been practiced by successful people throughout the years. Maybe it’s time you took advantage of these mind tricks that can vastly improve your life! 

 

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Via: thumbpress.com

Dogs Saying I Love You

We all know dogs love their humans, but have a look at how they actually express it.

Crotch Sniffing

dogsaffection3Ugh, this is an embarrassing one and how we wished our dogs can quit going around sniffing crotches. But before you start screaming at your dog, try to understand it. This behaviour is in fact a dog’s perculiar way of greeting. More importantly, apart from a hello, it allows the dog to understand and remember you through your scent.

Tail Wagging

dogsaffection8 Similar to a cat, a dog’s tail is a communication tool. In fact it is sometimes more accurate in translating its emotions than barking. Held at different positions, a dog’s wag could communicate excitement, fear, threat or submission. If your dog’s tail is held in a relaxed position and wagging all together with its entire butt, it means it is very happy to see you.

Following You Wherever You Go

dogsaffection6This is another behaviour that can get on your nerves, especially when your dog attempts to follow you to work! However, it is only a dog’s way to show his love, devotion and loyalty to you. Wherever you are, that is where your dog wants to be. Dogs are extreme social creatures and unlike humans, there is no need for solitude.

Leaning on You

dogsaffection1Whether you are sitting or standing, your dog is leaning on you and wouldn’t budge. You can’t move and you can’t get on with your daily routine. While you are wondering what they are up to, your dog has already got what they needed: your attention. Getting your attention and giving you their attention by leaning on you is their way of showing affection. Next time this happens, stop what you are doing and reciprocate with some love.

Smiling

dogsaffection4It is no surprise when you see something like a smile on your dog. Dogs do smile too! Research has found that dogs can also show and use facial expressions similar to how humans do. A dog’s smile is another way of showing his love and joy to his owner. Having said that, most of us are guilty of not recognizing our dog’s smile.

Face Licking

dogsaffection7 Warm, sticky, wet and stinky! We know this can get annoying but licking a person’s face is a love gesture from a dog. Dogs lick faces for a few reasons. Mainly, if your pet dog is licking your face, he is trying to groom you! Grooming is an intimate gesture only done after a strong connection is made between dogs (so now you know he sees you as one of his kind). On the other hand, if a stranger dog licks your face, it is simply trying to say that he is harmless and friendly.

Sleeping with You

Sheltie sleeping with her owner Similar to wild wolve packs, wild dogs curl up together to sleep in the night. Rather than sleeping alone in his designated corner, your dog prefer to snuggle right next to you in your bed. If you catch your dog sneaking onto your bed or falling asleep next to you in your couch, it implies that you are his family.

Taking Care of You When You are Sick

dogsaffection2Does your dog stay by your bed and watch you the whole time while you are nursing a flu? This is its natural instinct to care for a sick or wounded family member, just as they would in the wild. A dog extends its love and care to its sick or injured owner by quietly and patiently watching over him/her. But make sure you hide any superficial wounds away from your dog! It might actually lick your wound as its form of first aid.

They Bring You Gifts

dogsaffection9Last but not least, they bring you gifts….possibly from your flower garden though… but you just gotta love them!  xoxo

 

Source:  arditor