How Does The Sun Work? This Guys Girlfriend Hasn’t A Clue

WOW!  Hard to believe how the sun works has her sooo stumped.  LOL

Source: youtube

 

32 Essential Toys Every ’80s Preschooler Had

If you were a preschooler back in the ’80s…these 32 essential toys might just bring back some fond memories for you.

 

1. Glo Worm

Glo Worm

With it’s soft body design and light-up head, Glo Worm was the perfect preschool kid toy. I mean who else was going to protect you from the monster that lived under your bed? Definitely not the Fisher-Price Little People!

2. Fisher-Price Gas Pump

Fisher-Price Gas Pump

Fisher-Price made the perfect toys to introduce us to the real world, and yes, that apparently also included how to pump your own gas.

3. See ‘N Say Farmer Says

See 'N Say Farmer Says

Seriously, where would society be without this perennial favorite?! I mean it taught us that the cow goes “moo”!

4. Fisher-Price Record Player

Fisher-Price Record Player

This was probably the first sound system you ever owned — which of course you used to play your Read-Along Book records on.

5. Colorforms

Colorforms

These toys had no business being as fun as they were, essentially they were just reusable stickers. But maybe it was the perfectly cartoony design or the simplicity that had us coming back to play with it? Actually, scratch that, it was the addictive plastic smell that had us hooked.

6. Fisher-Price Medical Kit

Fisher-Price Medical Kit

Let’s be honest, the only thing you really played with in this kit was the stethoscope. But, bonus, the kit did also make a good storage case to carry around other toys!

7. Gumby

Gumby

During the 1980s Gumby had a huge revival, and this stretchy/posable figure was the perfect toy for little kids, as it was virtually indestructible. The one drawback was that, yes, you could eventually pull him apart and expose the wires that made him so darn posable, and maybe poke an eye out.

8. Mini Piano

Mini Piano

This toy provided exactly 20 minutes of fun before you got bored and moved on to another toy — that is, unless your parents got tired of hearing the annoying beeps and took it away before you had a chance to finish playing with it.

9. Mickey Mouse Talking Phone

Mickey Mouse Talking Phone

What kid didn’t want to talk to Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck? Sure, they didn’t say anything other then their name, but still you got a Disney character on the phone and it didn’t cost your parents two dollars a minute — looking at you, He-Man.

10. Sit’ n Spin

This thing was a basically a step above playing with an empty box, cause it didn’t do anything other than spin, but somehow, it still provided hours of entertainment.

11. Care Bears

Care Bears

The Care Bears ruled the ’80s, and you want to know why? Because they were created by the greeting card company American Greetings, who pushed them on unsuspecting parents and grandparents, and guilted them into buying them as an “I love you” gift. Plus, their soft bodies and pastel colors made them irresistible to little kids.

12. Fisher-Price Family Farm

Fisher-Price Family Farm

Aside from the Little People, the biggest seller here was the animals. Every little kid wanted to play with farm animals!

13. Fisher-Price Music Box Teaching Clock

Fisher-Price Music Box Teaching Clock

This longtime favorite was supposed to teach you how to tell time, but in reality, it was just fun to wind it up and watch it turn from day to night.

14. E.T. Vinyl Doll

E.T. Vinyl Doll

How big was E.T.? It was like Frozen x The Lion King plus a million. Seriously, it was huge, and of course had a natural appeal toward little kids, which made this vinyl doll (which felt so creepy to touch) a must have.

15. Poppin’ Pals

Poppin' Pals

This toy was probably more for babies than preschoolers, but its pop-up action made it lots of fun to play with.

16. Smurfs Play Camera

Smurfs Play Camera

This toy was a double winner, not only was it a play camera (allowing you to feel oh so grown-up), but it was also Smurf-themed. SMURF-THEMED!

17. Monchhichis

Monchhichis

Let’s be honest, these were more creepy than cute, but that catchy jingle for the commercial made you want one of these, badly.

18. View-Master

View-Master

Another perennial favorite that while simple provided hours of fun.

19. Fisher-Price Cash Register

Fisher-Price Cash Register

I don’t know if this was supposed to teach you how to use money, but I do know that the biggest appeal of this toy was popping that drawer open.

20. Tree Tots Family Tree House

Tree Tots Family Tree House

This little house was perfectly designed to capture your imagination. It was a tree that with the push of a button (on the top of the tree) revealed a three-room house, that came complete with an elevator, staircase, swing, and garage.

21. Rub-A-Dub Dog

Rub-A-Dub Dog

This toy pulled double duty. It was not only a bath toy, it was also a sponge (not a very good one, but still).

22. Fisher-Price Little People Play Family House

In the ’80s, the Little People upgraded themselves to some pretty posh homes (blame the yuppies?). Yes they were the exact same house, but most kids were either Team Yellow Roof or Team Tudor House.

23. My Buddy and Kid Sister

You know why you wanted one of these dolls? Because of the jingle from the commercial, which probably still lingers in the deep recesses of your mind.

24. Fisher-Price Tape Recorder

Fisher-Price Tape Recorder

This had one huge advantage over the Fisher-Price Record Player: IT COULD RECORD YOUR VOICE!

25. Snoopy Sno-cone Machine

Snoopy Sno-cone Machine

No hot summer day was complete without this classic toy. Sure, it took all your preschool body strength to get three slivers of ice slushy, but all that hard work made it taste extra good.

26. Fisher-Price Magic Burner Play Stove Top Range

Fisher-Price Magic Burner Play Stove Top Range

OK, so this probably gives you chills ‘cause it looks like the hot plate you had in college, but back in the ’80s this bad boy wasn’t just a pretend stove, it was a pretend stove that also lit up red!

27. Sweet Pickles Bus

Sweet Pickles Bus

OK, so this wasn’t a toy, but it was shaped like a bus and had a sticker that featured all the characters on it — which for fans of the book series made it an immediate toy (since no tie-in toy line was ever produced for it).

28. Little Boppers

These were basically like those dancing flowers that moved to music, expect they went one step further and actually moved around and danced. Yup, DANCED!

29. Speak & Spell

Speak & Spell

These really weren’t designed for preschoolers, but all those buttons and the voice action made them an irresistible toy to little kids.

30. Popples

Popples

Popples was one of the only toys that was perfect for both playing with and napping with.

31. Fisher-Price Parking Ramp Service Center Parking Garage

Fisher-Price Parking Ramp Service Center Parking Garage

This was the ultimate Little People play set (sorry, airport), mainly because you could race the cars down the ramp (with the Little People riding them), but the crank elevator also had its appeal.

32. Big Wheels

Hands down the best toy a preschooler could hope to get and play with. Sure, you probably fell off this thing more times than you could remember, but it really was your first taste of freedom and playing like a big kid.

So how many of these did YOU have or at least play with. Let me know in the comments. Thanks!

Via: buzzfeed.com

Cat Got Your Tongue?

We’ve all had trouble with our animals, but I don’t think anyone can top this “Cat Got Your Tongue” story!  LOLOL

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I’m lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head  injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozey to explain the bandage on the top of my head.

The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife’s wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem. Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.

“Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it.”

“You know where the button is,” I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. “Reset it yourself!”

“But I’m scared!” she persisted. “What if it starts going and sucks me in?” There was a meaningful pause and then, “C’mon, it’ll only take you a second.”

So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn’t the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and  stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws.

I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region. Wild animals are  sometimes faced with a “fight or flight” syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the “flight” option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink  and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of “been-there, done-that” paramedics. Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter–and not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was.

“What’s the matter?” They all asked, “Cat got your tongue?”

 

cat got your tongue

Source: thatsembarrassing

Unbelievably Weird Children’s Books

WOW!  These have to be some of the weirdest children’s books I have ever seen!

 

1.  Dick, Dick, What Did You Lick ?

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2.  Pretend I’m The Poop

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3.  Curious George

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4.  All My Friends Are Dead

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5.  Unplugged

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6.  Suck It

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7.  Scouts In Bondage

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8.  Angry Pig

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9.  Morning Of Awkwardness

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10. Cat’s Behind

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11. Teddy Bear Would Rather Sit And Watch

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12. Pleasure Island

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13. Harpo’s Horrible Secret

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14. Butcher

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15. Turtles Sleep

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16. Horse Balls

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17. Who Cares About Elderly People?

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18. Fellow Fags

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19. Poor Pussy Party Game

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20. Bones

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21. The Kiss

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22. Seamen

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23. Boy Vs. Girl

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24. Japan

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25. Do It Now

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26. Everyone Poops

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27. The Secret Of Being A Good Lover

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28. Cow

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29. Something In Her Mouth

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30. Invisible Dick

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Source: boredpanda

 

Ultrasounds So Creepy You Might Question Ever Having A Baby

YIKES!  These ultrasounds are down right disturbing!

1.   Nope. Nope, nope, nope, nope.

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2.  Give me your hopes. Give me your dreams.

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3.   In utero, no one can hear you scream.

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4.  I hope it comes in peace.

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5.  Wanna play a game?

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6.   Edvard Munch’s baby looks cute.

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7.   This looks like an old gypsy woman who curses you after you refuse to give her a bank loan.

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8.  Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal No Thanks!

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9.  Beelzebub looks comfortable.

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10. . Is… is there more than one?

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11. Hai.

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12. Jazz hands!

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13.  I see you.

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Source: boredomtherapy

15 Absurd Products That Actually Exist

WOW!?!  Check out these products whose existence is not just totally unnecessary, but also entirely strange.  What is the world coming to?

1.  “Yo, can you make me look like a human snorkle?” … “I’ve got just the thing.”

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2.  I’d really like to smell like a grease fire.

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3.  To think I was just going to throw it away

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4.  Take your waffles to fashion week!

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5.  Good thing they gave the meatball a mustache.

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6.   Hot lips?

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7.  Like 5 very weak people are trying to strangle you.

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8.  White Castle candle? White Castle candle.

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9.  Forget apple-bottom jeans, give me the skillet-butt denim.

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10. Is the Nelson Mandela thing more offensive than the cat-butt one?

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11. Soooo counter-culture.

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12. Ice-cream sandwich or pool float? It’s both!

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13. Have we gone too far??

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14.  Tired of your free-loading dog? Get these and put her to work!

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15. Somebody is having way too much fun.

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Source: boredomtherapy

 

14 Of The Creepiest Places Found In The United States

For those of you who like bone chilling horror stories, haunted houses/museums etc., be sure to check out some of the creepiest places in the United States,  you will ever find!

 

The Museum of Death, Los Angeles, CA

creepiestplaces07Founded in 1995, the Museum of Death features a large collection of serial killer memorabilia (yes, apparently that’s a thing), including prison artwork done by the serial murderers themselves! What, you don’t want to go?

Clinton Road, West Milford, NJ

creepiestplaces10Known to many as the “Most Haunted Road in America,” drivers along it have often reported supernatural sightings and satanic rituals. If those things weren’t enough, there are stretches of it known as the Dead Man’s Curve and the Ghost Boy Bridge! Count us out on that one.

The Lizzie Borden House, Fall River, MA

creepiestplaces13The Lizzie Borden house was the site of another ax murder, in which the aforementioned Lizzie Borden was accused of murdering her father and stepmother. She was acquitted, to nearly everyone’s surprised, but the eeriness of the murder still hangs over the place.

Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum, Weston, VA

creepiestplaces03A hospital for the mentally ill which surprisingly was still in operation little more than two decades ago, the building is now thought to be haunted by the spirits of patients angered by overcrowding, poor conditions and inhumane treatment.

The Grave of the Female Stranger, Alexandria, VA

creepiestplaces06The subject of a bizarre and little understood legend, The Grave of the Female Stranger holds the body of a woman who died and was buried by her husband in 1816 completely anonymously. Her spirit is said to haunt the grave to this day.

The Saint Louis Cemetery, New Orleans, LA

creepiestplaces09 Known for its unsettling above-ground vaults, this group of three cemeteries has many notable residents, but perhaps the most infamous is Marie Laveau, the Voodoo Queen of New Orleans, who is said to grant wishes for visitors who perform a ritual and leave an offering.

Bachelor’s Grove Cemetery, Chicago Suburbs, IL

creepiestplaces04 Many feel cemeteries are spooky places to begin with, but Bachelor’s Grove is undoubtedly creepy even by those standards! Containing only 82 plots to begin with, the graveyard has largely been abandoned after numerous reports of supernatural sightings.

The Stanley Hotel, Estes Park, CO

creepiestplaces08Famous for being the hotel which inspired “The Shining,” the Stanley has long been believed to be haunted, especially the well-known ballroom. More recently, the television program “Ghost Hunters” investigated and found that in fact there were scientifically inexplicable phenomena which originated in the ballroom.

The Winchester Mystery House, San Jose, CA

creepiestplaces02 Once a project of Sarah Winchester (the wife of the designer of Winchester Rifles), this mansion was intended to contain the spirits of those killed by her husband’s invention. These days, it is a giant building with bizarre architectural quirks, and in which there are often strange sightings and sounds.

The Villisca Ax Murder House, Villisca, IA

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The site of a famous ax massacre, the Villisca Ax Murder House is said to be haunted by the ghosts of the Moore family and their guests, who were murdered in 1912; a case which remains unsolved to this day.

Waverly Hills Sanatorium, Louisville, Kentucky

creepiestplaces11Built in 1910 for the purpose of housing tuberculosis paintings, the hospital was forced to expand considerably following an outbreak. Even a conservative estimate places the death toll at the hospital around 8,000 at the time of its closing in 1962, and those dead are said to haunt the building now.

Lemp Mansion, St. Louis, MO

creepiestplaces12The Lemp family once owned a brewery that made them rich and powerful in St. Louis. That is, until tragedy befell the family. Several generations of suicide plagued the Lemps, and their house now has a reputation as one of the most haunted buildings in the United States.

St. Augustine Light, St. Augustine, FL

creepiestplaces14Built at the site of a previous lighthouse which collapsed, this one is said to be haunted by the daughters of the superintendent who lead the construction of the current lighthouse, both of whom drowned in an accident there.

The Mütter Museum, Philadelphia, PA

creepiestplaces01If you find preserved human specimens morbid, this is definitely not the place for you because it’s stocked full of them. If those don’t bother you, how does an entire extracted human colon sound?

 

Source: odometer.com

 

By Far Some Of The Dumbest Things Ever Said On The Internet

The internet is a prime source for some of the dumbest things you are likely to ever see or hear!

 

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Source: acidcow

 

 

 

8 Photos That Will Have You Saying NOPE

Have you ever seen something, and then had a really negative feeling about it? So negative you just had to get away from it? These 8 photos are a perfect of example of when you might say NOPE, NOPE, and NOPE!

 

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Source Via: fun-droid.net