Generic Father Figure Needed For Backyard BBQ

I wonder what kind of response he received from this Craigslist ad?  LMAO!

 

To interested individuals,

We will be throwing a backyard BBQ on June 17th to celebrate beer and each other. We range in age from 21-26, and while most of us know how to operate a grill, none of us are prepared to fill the role of “BBQ Dad” That being said, we are in need of a generic father figure from 4PM to about 8PM (though you may stay the full duration of the party). Duties include:

– Grilling hamburgers and hotdogs (whilst drinking beer)
– Bringing your own grill (though this is subject to change. We will provide all of the meat)
– Refer to all attendees as “Big Guy’, “Chief”, “Sport”, “Champ” etc. (whilst drinking beer)
– Talk about dad things, like lawnmowers, building your own deck, Jimmy Buffet, etc. Funny anecdotes are highly encouraged. All whilst drinking beer.

Desired experience:

– A minimum of 18 years experience as a father
– A minimum of 10 years grilling experience
– An appreciation of a nice, cold beer on a hot summer day

We can’t pay you in money, BUT we can give you all the food and cold beer your heart desires. Grill for a few hours, then sit back and crack open a few cold ones with the boys.

THIS IS A REAL AD. Do not hesitate to call if you are interested. Preference will be given to applicants named Bill, Randy, or Dave.

Via: craigslist

Craigslist Ad For Dog Walker Goes Viral

craigslist ad dog walkerVia: ifweweredogs

A dog-walking Craigslist ad has gone viral on the internet, and for good reason: It’s hilarious.

Why you ask?

Well, first here’s the intro:

HEY RICH-ASS DOG OWNERS:

Are you at the office 23 hours a day in a coke-fueled effort to squeeze every last penny out of your 20’s and 30’s?

Are you going out of town with your post-divorce trophy-girlfriend to visit your slave ship collection in the Barbados?

Do you work for a corporation that received Tarp money?

I AM YOUR DOG-WALKER

And then it continues with beauties such as:

Do I have experience walking dogs?

I’M A HUMAN BEING, OF COURSE I HAVE EXPERIENCE WALKING DOGS. THIS ISN’T LINEAR ALGEBRA, FOLKS; ITS DOG-WALKING

Are you one of those prototypical American success stories who worked your way up from nothing to live the dream, and now you want to gloat over an Ivy League grad who has been reduced to posting a dog-walking classified on skeezy-ass Craigslist?

You can shadow me while I walk! Take pictures of my pathetic face as I handle your dog’s feces with nothing but a plastic bag over my hand! I’ll wear my Princeton lettermen’s Sweater! I might even Cry!

And:

I’M JUST A GUY WHO WANTS YOUR MONEY AND WILL WALK YOUR DOG TO GET IT.

Do I do overnights?

YOU BET YOUR BOATHOUSE, BUDDY!

I will sleep in your sweet-ass apartment and tend to your dog while doing it. Don’t want my poor-person skin sullying your ostrich-feather sheets? I’ll sleep on the floor! Don’t want my poor-person hair secreting oils all over the pearl-white tiles? I’ll sleep in the crate with the dog! Sh*t as long as I’m allowed to turn on the heat, I’ll curl up in a ball and sleep in your sink WHILE THE WATER RUNS OVER MY NAKED BODY!

Am I going to steal your jewelry? No I’m not. Am i going to jack your electronics? No way man. Am i gonna eat some of your food? Probably, but nothing you’ll miss, maybe an apple.

Then ends on this note:

I’M NOT ABOUT TO TAKE A BATH IN YOUR FOIE GRAS, MONEYBAGS.

I’m a good guy, and I’m just looking to make a little extra cash by chaperoning your dog around your stupid white bread sidewalks. So if your interested in the dopest, most swagged-out LEGEND OF THE UNIVERSE dog-walking champion in Seattle, reply to this ad and we’ll get started in making your dog happier than a Mormon on his honeymoon.

So act now, write me. I’m excited to meet you and your dog, and I’m sure…that your dog is excited to meet me, too.

Serious inquiries only, please

Sadly, this post isn’t actually for real. Mother Jones recently revealed that the postee actually uploaded it as a joke. However, he’s gotten a mountain of replies! As he told them when they reached out for comment:

“Ummm… I posted this as a joke. I have surprisingly gotten people that want me to walk their dogs. Ive got more marriage proposals and offers for sex more than anything. I prefer to remain anonymous but i will tell you that I am married with a daughter and contrary to my post (that is a joke) I make a comfortable living and I’m pretty much your average joe family man. The reason I posted it is to show what happens when you go to college and stack up student loans and dont have a plan afterwards. you’ll turn out having to walk dogs with a sh**ty outlook on society.”

Well played, sir. Well mutherpuppin’ played.

 

Source: barkpost

 

Photobombing Dog Is The Best Thing To Happen To Craigslist

This photobombing dog in a Chicago Craigslist apartment listing has literally become the “talk of the town”.  The couple who posted the ad had the ingenious idea to let their dog photobomb every picture of the rooms in their apartment hoping that it would draw more attention to their listing because let’s face it…it’s FUNNY! After reading more into the story of the photobombing dog, it seems their idea worked, and their apartment was rented in less than 24 hours after the ad posted!

 

photobombdog1 photobombdog2 photobombdog3 photobombdog4 photobombdog5 dogphotobomb5

 

Via: buzzfeed.com