Signs You Might Be Drinking Too Much Coffee…

Signs You  Might Be Drinking Too Much Coffee

coffeeaddiction

  1. – Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
  2. – You ski uphill.
  3. – You answer the door before people knock.
  4. – You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
  5. – You haven’t blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
  6. – You lick your coffeepot clean.
  7. – You’re the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don’t even work there.
  8. – Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
  9. – You chew on other people’s fingernails.
  10. – Your T-shirt says, “Decaffeinated coffee is the devil’s blend.”
  11. – You can type sixty words per minute … with your feet.
  12. – You can jump-start your car without cables.
  13. – Cocaine is a downer.
  14. – You don’t need a hammer to pound nails.
  15. – Your only source of nutrition comes from “Sweet & Low.”
  16. – You don’t sweat, you percolate.
  17. – You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
  18. – You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
  19. – You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
  20. – You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.
  21. – You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
  22. – Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
  23. – You’ve built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
  24. – People get dizzy just watching you.
  25. – You’ve worn the finish off your coffee table.
  26. – The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you.
  27. – Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
  28. – Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
  29. – Instant coffee takes too long.
  30. – When someone says. “How are you?”, you say, “Good to the last drop.”
  31. – You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
  32. – Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
  33. – You’re offended when people use the word “brew” to mean beer.
  34. – You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
  35. – You can thread a sewing machine, while it’s running.
  36. – You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
  37. – You short out motion detectors.
  38. – You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
  39. – Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
  40. – You think being called a “drip” is a compliment.
  41. – You don’t tan, you roast.
  42. – You can’t even remember your second cup.
  43. – You help your dog chase its tail.

 

SOURCE: thejokeyard

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