Take a white onion, peel it, cut it in half, stab a fork into the small end of one half. Use the fork to rub the onion back and forth over the grates of a hot grill. The onion will deglaze the grates and add a little extra flavor the next time you bust out your grill!
Clean them with baby shampoo. Once you’ve rinsed them well, hang them up to dry using a hanger and binder clips. This way the water doesn’t drip back down into the handles, which will harbor mold and make the bristles fall out.
For a stain that’s dried already, treat it with shaving cream and throw it into the washing machine. For a wet stain, there are a number of different methods, from club soda to kitty litter, which you can get here.
Many stuffed animals can’t go in the washing machine, so you have to clean them in a basin. You’ll need a clean toothbrush, two clean white washcloths, a clean white towel, and high-efficiency laundry detergent. Get more details here.
By the end of winter, chances are, your Uggs are covered in water and snow stains. You’ll want to go over them with a stiff brush. Then, use a slightly damp washcloth to rub over the stains. Get more details here.
That yellow stuff is SWEAT and DROOL if that doesn’t compel you to do this right now. Throw them in the washing machine using REALLY HOT water, 1 cup of laundry detergent, 1 cup powdered dishwasher detergent, 1 cup bleach, and 1/2 cup borax. Get more details here.
33. And finally… this solution will SAVE YOUR LIFE (and your beds) during the potty-training phase.
Heather Spohr from The Spohrs Are Multiplying placed wee wee pads underneath her child’s fitted sheet to protect the mattress from accidents. She actually double layers them — one layer of wee wee pads, one fitted sheet, one layer of wee wee pads, another fitted sheet — so that she could remove the top layer after bed-wetting without having to re-fit the bed. A serious time and sleep saver during a challenging time.
Here’s some surprising facts about what dog behaviors actually mean. The truth about “man’s best friend” may be funnier than you think!
1. Wagging their tails:
“Experts” say: Dogs wag their tails back and forth to show they’re happy. The truth: Your dog just farted and he’s trying to fan it away from you. What a courteous pup.
2. Showing their bellies to you:
“Experts” say: Dogs expose their bellies as a sign of submission, and might be asking for a belly rub! The truth: Your dog has been on the South Beach Diet for six weeks and wants you to acknowledge his weight loss. Say something encouraging!
3. Baring their front teeth:
“Experts” say: Curling lips baring front teeth is a dog’s way of smiling. The truth: Your dog is obsessed with Katy Perry (as most dogs are) and he’s hoping you’ll buy him a pair of grillz like the ones in Katy’s “Dark Horse” video. Tell your dog that Katy Perry is a poor role model and buy him an Ani DiFranco CD.
4. Running in their sleep:
“Experts” say: Dogs dream the same as people, and they have similar muscle movements when they dream. Maybe your dog is chasing a rabbit! The truth: Dogs are highly skilled at astral projection, but yours has strayed too far from his earthly body. It’s up to you to astrally project into the Ghost Realm, find your canine friend, and bring him home safely. Godspeed, and good luck. You’ll need it.
5. Staring at you dead in the eye:
“Experts” say: A direct, intense stare is a threat. It would be wise to back away slowly. The truth: Your dog just got LASIK and is hoping you’ll notice his lovely new 20/20 vision. Bring your face as close as possible to his so your compliments can be heard more easily.
6. Ears in different positions:
“Experts” say: Dogs position their ears in different directions depending on their mood. Up means alert, down means fearful, and back means aggressive. The truth: Dogs love fashion and it’s important to let your pup experiment with different earstyles. Get him a gift card to Claire’s at the mall so he can accessorize appropriately.
7. Tail between their legs:
“Experts” say: A tail between the legs means your dog is afraid, worried, and under stress. The truth: Your puppy is wearing his tail down because he woke up late and didn’t have time to style his tail into an updo. Don’t comment on it. Dogs are sensitive.
8. Play biting:
“Experts” say: Play biting is a normal part of dog behavior. Think of it as rough housing. The truth: Your dog plans to eat you soon, but wants to tenderize you first. Soon he’ll start seasoning you with thyme and saffron. Beware.
9. Eating dead gross rotten animal meat off the forest floor:
“Experts” say: Dogs are carnivores and it’s instinctual for them to eat meat. The truth: Dogs are actually strict vegans and only eat meat when experiencing severe anemia. If your dog eats a dead animal it means it’s time to shell out for some iron supplements.
10. Quizzically tilting their heads to one side:
“Experts” say: Dogs tilt their heads when something piques their interest and they want to hear better. The truth: Like Regan MacNeil in The Exorcist, your dog is possessed by the demon king Pazuzu, hence the contorting head. Hire a priest to perform an exorcism immediately.
11. Making “Puppydog Eyes” at you:
“Experts” say: Dogs are smarter than you think and know how to get what they want. “Puppydog eyes” is akin to begging—a ploy to get a treat or go for a walk. The truth: Your dog has been wearing its monthly contact lenses for too long and it’s starting to cause problems such as dilated pupils and watery eyes. Educate your canine friend on proper lens care.
12. Howling at the moon:
“Experts” say: Dogs howl to announce their presence to other canines. The moon association is most likely based on ancient myths. The truth: Your dog is a werewolf! Run!!! Eeeeeeeek!
(Unless he’s one of the hot werewolves from Teen Wolf, in which case congrats.)
13. Digging holes all over the damn place:
“Experts” say: Dogs dig to bury valuable items, like bones and toys. The truth: Dogs dig to bury valuable items, like gold and other precious metals. Your dog doesn’t trust banks, and why should he? With the way big banks are handling our money these days, I tell you what…
14. Growling at the mailman/delivery guy/basically anyone:
“Experts” say: Dogs bark at strangers because they’re territorial and protective. The truth: Your dog is so SUPER JAZZED for his new subscription to Better Homes and Gardens to arrive that he can barely contain himself!
15. Barking because they heard another dog bark:
“Experts” say: Dogs bark to communicate. They’re just saying hello to each other. The truth: All dogs are in gangs and when they bark, they’re warning each other to stay off one another’s turf. Don’t get caught in a dog gang turf war!
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn’t want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The Alabamian said to the doctor, “I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don’t see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me”.
“Trust me,” said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:
At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, an resumed counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Kentucky, Mississippi, and West Virginia.
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.
She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!”
The four men didn’t wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad.
The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.
She tried and tried, and then she realized why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.
A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.
She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake.
The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing.
He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.
No charges were filed.
The moral of the story? If you’re going to have a senior moment… make it memorable.
Exfoliate your skin with a paste of 3 parts baking soda to one part water. Apply gently with your fingertips in a circular motion, then rinse
To deodorize a drain, pour about ½ cup baking soda down the drain, followed by ½ cup vinegar. After 15 minutes, pour in boiling water to clean residue. NOTE:Use this method only if your pipes are metal. And never mix with other cleaning solutions. Don’t try this if you’ve recently used a commercial drain product.