This man had some fun at the expense of the Walmart staff!
This is a rough drawing of the signature that I provided:
Yes, I know, it’s not my best artwork, but I didn’t have the time to be elaborate with the drawing. I had to look like I was providing a signature. Right after I hit “OK”, there was a pause. The register then said “COMPARE SIGNATURE ON SLIP TO CARD.” One thought popped in my head: “OH *!”
It then printed the receipt and there in black and white was my drawing of a johnson and balls. The lady at the register didn’t immediately look at it. She asked for the card. I handed her the card and she flipped it over. Then she brought up the receipt and she smirked, but then took a stern tone and said “These signatures don’t match.”
At this point I was in tears from trying to hold back my laughter. I tried to explain to her why I had done it, but it didn’t matter. I probably didn’t make sense as I laughed hysterically through the explanation. She then paged the manager and I erupted in laughter. The guy behind me in line got a glimpse of my signature on the receipt and began laughing. The manager comes up and the woman from the register begins whispering to him. I then hear a few words “he drew a penis…” as she holds up the receipt. The manager blurts out a short laugh and then controls it. He turns to me and I’m out of breath from laughing and I’m still giggling like a schoolgirl.
Manager: Sir, your signature…heh…umm…doesn’t match the signature on your card.
Me: I know and there is a good reason for that.
Manager: (quietly) You drew a penis on my credit card machine.
**The guy behind me bursts into laughter.**
Me: Yeah, I didn’t think this would happen. I’ve been trying to see how far I could go with my signature before the credit card company did something about it.
Manager: I guess you learned your lesson.
Me: Yeah, the credit card doesn’t accept penis.
**The guy behind me now can’t stop laughing.**
Manager: OK, I’m going to decline the signature and have you sign it again.
Me: Fair enough.
Manager: This time, really sign it.
So I had to sign it again and they wouldn’t let me keep my artwork. Those bastards. I had single-handedly broken up the monotony of their daily routine and given them something that they will be talking about for years to come and they wouldn’t let me keep it. They will tell their grandchildren about the guy that drew a johnson and balls as his credit card signature.
So I have a plan now. I’m going to get a new credit card and sign the back with my johnson and balls drawing. Then I will consistently use that as the signature. That way, if I ever get caught in the same situation, the signatures will match. That will really mess with them.