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These riddles will make you think long and hard…but TRY to get your minds out of the gutter people!
1. What goes in dry and hard, but comes out wet and soft?
New Line Cinema / Via gifrific.com
Chewing gum, you perv!
2. Your finger fits right in it. You play with it when you’re bored. Once you’re married, you’re stuck with the same one forever. What is it?
A ring! Get your mind out of the gutter!
3. What’s at least 6 inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun if it vibrates?
A TOOTHBRUSH. COME ON.
4. You play with it at night before bed. You can’t be seen fiddling with it at work. You only let very, very special people touch it. What is it?
NBC / Via mylifethroughkristenwiig.tumblr.com
Your smart phone! DUH.
5. What’s long and hard and has cum in it?
NBC / Via bookriot.com
A cuCUMber. Haha, got you.
6. What does every woman have that starts with a “V” and that she can use to get what she wants?
Her VOICE, you sexist asshole.
7. What goes up, lets out a load, and then goes back down?
An elevator. You’re a disgusting human being.
8. What do men keep in their pants that their partners sometimes blow?
CBS / Via stylecaster.com
MONEY. Your mind is basically a citizen of the gutter.
9. What’s made of rubber, handed out at some schools, and exists to prevent mistakes?
ERASERS. Safety first, kiddos!
10. People think these are better when they’re longer, but short ones can be really powerful, too, and there is totally such a thing as TOO long. What are they?
TWEETS. 140 characters is not enough to express how gross your imagination is.
11. What’s most useful when it’s long and hard?
A college education.
12. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s is really long. Michael J. Fox’s is really short. Mickey Mouse’s isn’t human. Madonna doesn’t have one. What is it?
A last name. Did you really think… Oh my god.
13. If you put three fingers into these holes, it’s gonna be a shocker. What am I talking about?
A POWER OUTLET. BECAUSE THAT WOULD GIVE YOU AN ELECTRIC SHOCK. DON’T DO IT.
14. What starts with “p” and ends with “orn” and is the hottest part of the movie industry?
15. It’s fun to do, but you hate knowing your parents do it, too. What is it?
Columbia Pictures / Via gifatron.com
FACEBOOK. WOW. You’re so twisted.
16. Every man has one, some are big, some are small. Blowing them feels great, but they drip if you aren’t careful. What are they?
Noses. They’re noses. Why would you even think… Ugh.
18. What’s white, gooey, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
Toothpaste. Dental hygiene is so important. You sick freak.
19. What gets wetter when things get steamy?
Steam boats! An integral part of the evolution of marine travel!
20. They’re powerful and fun, especially when you put your fingers in them. What are they?
Bowling balls! Hahahahahahahaha. I know what you were thinking…
21. Some people prefer being on top, others prefer being on the bottom, and it always involves a bed.
A BUNK-BED. Dumbass.
22. What’s squishy, bouncy, and comes in pairs?
23. You get a lot of it if you’re important and successful, you get less when you’re just starting out. You sometimes do it with yourself if you need to, but it’s a lot better when it’s with other people.
Email. Calm down.
24. What’s beautiful and natural, but gets prickly if it isn’t trimmed regularly?
Grass. Like, on a lawn. Your brain is such a nasty place.
25. What’s messy and difficult to clean up after sex?
FEELINGS. Yeah. Bet you feel like a dick now.
Here’s some tell tale signs that you might just be…addicted to coffee!
1. The exact second you wake up, before your eyes have even opened, you are thinking about your First Cup.
2. Your loved ones are AWARE when you haven’t had it yet.
3. You will do ANYTHING to get that first cup…
4. …except wait.
Justine Zweibel / BuzzFeed
5. You truly believe that your eyeballs don’t function as well without it.
6. You consider it a basic, fundamental requirement for existence.
The CW / Via pinterest.com
7. One that can define True Love:
8. That first cup has a soul that sees your own.
9. Without it, you’d invariably act like a jerk:
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10. But once you have it, you feel like this:
13. And you display your mug collection like a work of art.
14. You’ve formed a life philosophy around it:
15. If you could wear this T-shirt every day, you would.
17. This is your favorite Twitter account.
19. This is a thing you’d consider doing, or at least pin to Pinterest.
20. To you, this moment proves that God is real.
THE MILK RAINBOW. ALL THE MOST GORGEOUS COLORS.
22. You spend so much money on it that you’ve tried recreating your favorite Starbucks drinks at home.
23. And you’re happy to entertain aesthetic improvisations.
24. As long as this doesn’t happen, under any circumstance.
25. Your loved ones understand that coffee occupies a substantial amount of your available affection.
26. With it, your jokes are HILARIOUS.
27. If anyone should ask you how many cups of coffee you’ve had today, you think:
28. When you yawn, everyone around you knows:
29. If you could bathe in coffee, you would.
30. …like the people in this coffee spa that ACTUALLY EXISTS in Japan.
31. At the end of the day you sometimes think:
32. And so you pray.
33. And know that tomorrow is a new day.
These GIFs are so adorable, they can’t help but put a smile on your face! 😉
Stray kitten takes ownership of cameraman
Now that Halloween’s over…
Pay attention to me!
Young deer grooming kitten
om nom nom
Dog taking his teddy to bed
Parents will relate
“This blanket was mine, but you need it more than me ”
Kids looting a trick-or-treat basket…wait for it
Summer is FINALLY HERE!! Add a lil fun to your summer routine with some of these great excuses to celebrate. Whatever you’re doing, don’t forget the Coppertone®!
Ready. Set. SUMMMEERRRR!!!!
1. June 6 is National Yo-Yo Day, a great excuse to learn how to use one!
Just watch out for the very real possibility that you will hit yourself in the face with it if you get carried away.
2. Strap on your backpack and head outdoors for a hike! June 7 is National Trails Day.
Priscilla Gragg / Blend Images / Getty Images
Extra points for hiking to the beach, of course.
3. Don’t forget to call your Dad — June 15 is Father’s Day!
Seriously, he deserves it!
4. Get together with friends to make crowns of flowers for Midsummer on June 21.
Known as Midsommar in Sweden, this celebration involves making crowns of flowers and dancing around a pole (that part is less weird than it sounds).
5. Or take a step further and dress up for Golowan, a traditional Cornish Midsummer celebration
Jim Richardson / National Geographic / Getty Images
Jim Richardson / National Geographic / Getty Images
Like Midsommar, Golowan celebrations involve bonfires and wreaths of flowers, but mixed with scary skull disguises and children dressed as pirates. Fun!
6. Celebrate all that is French with some wine and good cheese on Bastille Day, July 14.
In New York, the French alliance sets up on 60th Street for crepes, accordion music, and everything blue, blanc rouge.
7. Find out if the truth is out there at the Roswell UFO Festival happening July 3-6.
I Want to Believe
8. Close your eyes and kiss the sky at the Stoweflake Hot Air Ballon Festival in Vermont July 11-13.
John Kieffer / Photolibrary / Getty Images
Scared of heights? The show is just as beautiful from below, don’t worry.
9. July is Hot Dog Month — indulge in some frank and buns!
Remember the rule: mustard, no ketchup.
10. Look up and enjoy the summer sky — the Perseidswill be the most visible from August 9-13 this year!
Don’t forget to make a wish. Wish suggestion: that summer last forever.
11. July 24 is proven to be the hottest day of the year in most places, time to head to the water park!
Lelia Valduga / Moment / Getty Images
12. For more thrills, head to the Mid-Atlantic Hermit Crab Challenge where the competition is fierce.
Ingetje Tadros / Getty Images
The annual “challenge” takes place every year; this year it’s on July 26. May the best crab win!
13. Sunday, July 20 is National Ice Cream Day and a great excuse to try an exciting new flavor.
Le Mars, Iowa is the country’s ice cream capital — perhaps this day calls for a road trip!
14. Craving something savory? Take in the sights and smells of the Gilroy Garlic Festival.
Eugen Kim / CC / Via youtube.com
Taking place on July 25, 26, and 27, the festival includes a heated cook-off competition and lots and lots of good eats.
15. Burn those hot dogs and ice cream off with a little run at the Elvis Presley 5K Run in Memphis, Tennessee on August 16.
Fun in Acapulco / Hal Wallis Productions / Via fanpop.com
Letting that handsome face inspire you to run a little faster.
16. Make your way to Providence, Rhode Island for one of the stunning lightings of the WaterFireinstallation.
Lou Jones / Lonely Planet Images / Getty Images
Water + fire = wow. The event will happen twice in July and twice in August, find the full schedule here.
17. August 26 is National Dog Day — go ahead and squeeze your furry buddy extra hard today.
As if you needed an excuse!
These Gifs absolutely NAIL what it feels like when you know you are running late for work!
Even if you sleep through your alarm, your subconscious mind knows that you’ve messed up. This causes your brain to send a signal to your body that says “Get out of bed as gracefully as possible.”
You try to have some breakfast, even though there’s not really time. At this point, you may be in denial about just how late you actually are.
And when your boss comes to your desk to ask you why you were late, you try to distract her with your charm.
If you happen to be late on the day of a big meeting, you try to slide in to your seat at the table subtly, as if you had been there all along.
Suddenly, reality sets in: Since you were late this morning, you’re going to have to work late tonight.
This causes you to lash out at everyone in the office for the rest of the day, as if it were their fault that you stayed up too late watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix the night before.
And when you’re finally finished working, you try to get to your friends as fast as humanly possible.
Unfortunately, it’s so late that they’re already paying the tab and heading out. They’re all disappointed in you.
Defeated, you head home while trying to reassure yourself that tomorrow is a new day, and a new chance for you to be punctual.
Finally, you collapse into bed with the full intention of getting up at least an hour early tomorrow.
Source Via: lifebuzz
We all love when Karma happens. This is one of those times you will be instantly rewarded! LOLOL
Source Via: leenks.com
Phones are great, but sometimes they make us do things we might regret. Don’t hurt others with your foolishness. If you’re texting, you’re not driving.
1. Spending hours and hours trying to get the perfect selfie.
Go and live your life!
2. Using your nose/tongue to press buttons on your phone.
Do you KNOW where that screen has BEEN?!
3. Taking your phone into the bathroom stall with you.
Your text messages/Candy Crush session will STILL be there when you’re done.
4. Thinking that your phone is waterproof because it has updated software.
News flash: It has never been waterproof and never will be.
6. Pretending to be busy to avoid conversation.
Would’ve been a good plan…HAD YOU NOT BEEN UNDERGROUND WITHOUT SERVICE.
7. Sending anyone suggestive pictures of yourself.
And the internet said, “I never forget.”
8. Falling in love with Siri.
She’s only telling you what you want to hear, so…
9. Butt dialing your boss.
Be recognized for the right things.
10. Basing your happiness on how many texts you receive.
Life is about giving anyways…
11. Testing all of the “radiation” theories.
NOW LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE.
Texting while driving.
Syda Productions / Via shutterstock.com