I’m hoping these funny pun dog puns will brighten your “RUFF” day!
17. And finally… wait for it…
These are some great potty training tips right here! Pretty soon their business won’t be your business…
1. Use Cheerios to improve your son’s aim.
2. To stop your kid from freaking out when a public toilet flushes, put a Post-It over the sensor.
3. If your little one likes to unwind the entire roll of toilet paper, put it in backward (with the end facing the wall) — it’ll make it harder for them.
4. A “you shall not pass” sign can also serve as a good visual aid.
5. If they do end up flushing too much paper and the toilet clogs, drizzle in a bit of Dawn dish soap, then slowly pour in a bucket of hot water from waist level.
6. Make a progress chart of times they’re successful, and let them put a sticker up when they do it right.
7. Get a potty training kit together before you start, with the sticker chart, juice boxes, some candy and small rewards that they’ll love, their big kid underwear, and a potty training movie.
8. This ingenious time saver for bed-wetting.
9. Set a “pee-pee timer” for every 30 minutes to help remind your little boy or girl to try to go.
10. There’s no shame in resorting to bribery. When your child sits on the potty on their own, start out with big rewards, like a little toy or ice cream, and gradually decrease to small awards, like M&Ms or jelly beans.
11. If you prefer not to use candy, hit up the dollar store: Try stickers, stamps, coins for their piggy bank, or a toy set with multiple pieces for the bath, and let them have one or two for every time they go one or two. Hugs and songs can work too.
12. Another incentive recommended is to let them pick out a poster they like, hang it in the bathroom, then cover up the good parts with a post-it note.
13. Sing “Wipe, seat down, flush, wash your hands” to any melody to help them remember all of the steps.
14. If they have an accident, have them help with clean up.
15. Save yourself some back strain by letting the little one wash their hands with the bathtub faucet (just make sure it’s not too hot).
16. Pantyliners can be a cheap alternative to Pull-Ups or potty training pants if they’re still having occasional accidents, or have been potty trained but are leaking once in a while.
17. For kids who are resisting wearing underwear, they’ll be extra excited to wear a pair custom-made for them with iron-on paper.
18. Stick a disposable changing pad on the car seat to avoid constant cleaning up while accidents are still happening.
19. Like everything else with parenting, don’t stress too much about it. Just remember: You’re not going to send your kid to college in diapers.
These 21 people might not wanna be asked…”So how’s YOUR summer going so far?”
1. Anyone leaving the beach looking like this:
2. Anyone who shouldn’t be playing with fireworks:
3. And anyone too unlucky to be near them:
4. Anyone taking a morning jog at the beach:
5. Anyone too unlucky for water slides:
6. And anyone who gets stuck in the mud:
7. Anyone who passes out at a concert:
8. Anyone whose tan looks like Neapolitan ice cream:
9. Anyone who deserves to lose their shit:
10. Anyone who’s still attached to their kiddie pool:
11. Anyone who pops wheelies with three people on their bike:
12. Anyone who’s using this as an air conditioner:
13. Anyone who falls asleep at the beach:
14. Anyone whose food melts together from the heat.
15. Anyone who literally sweats balls:
16. Anyone’s who’s having a cool time at summer camp:
17. Anyone who calls it quits during their workout:
18. Anyone who thinks this is a good idea:
19. Anyone fakecationing to impress their friends:
20. Anyone who tries impressing a girl by the pool:
21. And anyone who tries showing off in front of the entire party:
If you’re in the market for a five pound gummy bear, you might want to read these Amazon reviews first…
1. Can and should be used as a method of self-defense.
2. This person clearly pissed off the reviewer above.
3. The bigger ones taste better.
4. This person is probably dead by now.
5. Not quite sure why giant gummy bears would be necessary for “the Mayan Doomsday.”
6. Giant gummy bears apparently cure depression.
7. At least one person’s definition of a good time.
8. Oh good lord, people.
9. See, this is confusing. This “Lord Dahak” gives the product a 5-star review…but doesn’t seem completely satisfied.
10. Also suitable for dogs.
11. This unsatisfied customer has resolved to create his own gummy bear out of horse poop and cat butt. Inventive.
12. This is getting quite dark.
13. And creepy.
These condom slogan jokes are right on the money! 😉
AT&T Condum: Reach out and touch someone.
Campbell’s Condom: Mmm, mmm, good.
Nike Condom: Just do it.
Toyota Condom: Oh, what a feeling! Who can ask for anything more?
Diet Pepsi Condom: You got the right one, baby.
GE Condom: We bring good things to life!
Pringles Condom: Once you pop, you can’t stop.
Mentos Condom: The freshmaker.
Doublemint Condom: Double your pleasure, double your fun!
Secret Condom: Strong enough for a man, but pH balanced for a woman.
Ford Condom: The best never rest. Have you Driven a Ford Lately?
Chevy Condom: Like a Rock.
Jeep-Eagle Condom: There’s Only One Jeep (sold in singles only)
The Saturn Condom: A *Different* Kind of Condom Dial Condoms: Aren’t you glad you use it? Don’t you wish everybody did?
NY Lotto Condom: ‘ Cause, hey — you never know.
Avis Condom: Trying harder than ever.
Energizer Condom: Keeps going and going …
KFC Condom: Finger-Licking Good.
Coca Cola Condom: Always the Real Thing.
Diet Coke Condom: Just for the taste of it
Lays Condom: Betcha can’t have just one.
MCI Condoms: For friends and family
Taco Bell Condom: Get some before you go south of the border.
The Sears Latex Condom: One coat is good for the entire winter.
Starburst Condom: Gets Your Juices Flowin’
Bud-Light Condom: Where’s the Love Man!
7-UP Condom: The UN-Condom
Iomega Condom: For All Your Stuff
Microsoft Condom: Wherever you want to go today. We are universally compatible.
It is NO wonder men misunderstand women as they are very complicated individuals!
1. I don’t want to talk about it
It is something. It is definitely something and you had better figure it out real quick.
3. I’m not upset
4. Do I look fat in this?
A better translation would be “Do you think I’m ugly?” and the answer is categorically “no”.
5. Do you have to do this now?
Also not a question. It means stop doing what you’re doing and prepare for further orders.
6. Go ahead
Do not misconstrue this as permission. In fact, it’s more of a dare. Actually, its always a dare. Don’t do it.
7. What are you doing?
It means “no”.
9. We can go anywhere you want
In most cases this also means no. There are exceptions but they are very hard to distinguish.
11. Thanks a lot
It’s a very small distinction but this is actually the opposite of “thanks”. Under no circumstances should you say “you’re welcome”. Typically that would land you back at #15 (Whatever).
12. It would be nice if…
It means thanks. Say “you’re welcome”.
This is like “fine” except significantly worse. In fact, many times it will follow #18 (Are you listening?).
16. It’s okay
17. 5 minutes
This depends on context. If she is getting dressed then it is most likely somewhere between 30 and 40 minutes. If you are watching TV then it is closer to 0 minutes. As in “why are you watching TV right now when you should be doing something productive?”
18. Are you listening?
You are not listening. There is no way to recover from this.
19. *Loud sigh*
You might not think so, but this is actually a word and it can roughly be translated as “I can’t believe I have to stand here and put up with your stupidity”.
20. It’s up to you
If you think this means you have freedom to choose then you are very, very mistaken. A much better translation would be “It’s up to you…to select the right choice which I know but I am not going to tell you because you should know.” Making the wrong choice will usually result in an “It’s okay (see #16).
21. We need to talk
GIRLS NIGHT OUT
Two women friends had gone for a “girls night out.” They both were very faithful, loving wives… however, they had gotten a bit over enthusiastic on Margaritas at the Rio.
Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in a cemetery. One had nothing to wipe with so she decided to take off her panties and use them. Her friend, however, was wearing expensive panties and didn’t want to ruin them… luckily she had squatted next to a grave that had a fresh wreath with a ribbon on it… so she proceeded to wipe with that.
After the girls completed their “business” they continued toward home.
The following day, one of the husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed and hung over. He phoned the other husband, and said “These girls nights out have got to stop! I’m starting to suspect the worst! My wife came home with no panties!”
“That’s nothing!” said the other husband, “mine came back with a card stuck to her butt that read:
“FROM ALL OF US AT THE FIRE STATION… WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU!!!”
A humorous picture collection to hopefully give you a smile or laugh in your day. 🙂
We all know that short people might have some challenges because of their height but tall people experience more than a few every day fears as well because of their height too.
1. Wrong Clothes
Finding shoes and clothes to fit you is such a chore when you’re tall. It can be expensive to buy. Also it’s time consuming to find things that will fit you and not be too short or hurt your feet.
2. Bending down
Holding a conversation basically means you have to look down on someone. Literally. Bending down or craning your neck to be at eye level is not fun.3. How Tall Are You
You might as well have a name tag with your height on it. People never ask your name, just your height.4. Desks
The most dreaded enemy of all tall people is the classroom desk. It’s basically a cramping prison for tall people.
5. The Weather Joke
Being asked the dreaded weather question, “How’s the weather up there?” I’m sure every tall person has heard this question enough times to take up a career in meteorology. It’s not funny anymore.
6. Small Door
Walking into a room and the doorway is too low. Knocking yourself out in a doorway can be pretty embarrassing. Also having to bend every time you pass through that doorway.
7. Airplane Seats
Without enough legroom, cramping is inevitable for every airplane ride. You may have to spend more money and upgrade to first class.
8. Basketball Skills
People will assume that you are awesome at basketball. Just because you are the same height as Shaq doesn’t mean you can dunk like he can. A lot of tall people can barely make a layup.
9. Finding A Mattress
Finding a bed that will fit your height is next to impossible. Normal mattress stores do not carry extra long mattresses, so online is one of the only options is you don’t want your feet hanging over the edge.
10. Being in the way.
Nobody wants to sit behind a tall person at the movies or other events. Sure, you can see perfectly well, but you might get complaints from the less vertically gifted people who are behind you.
If you were a preschooler back in the ’80s…these 32 essential toys might just bring back some fond memories for you.
1. Glo Worm
With it’s soft body design and light-up head, Glo Worm was the perfect preschool kid toy. I mean who else was going to protect you from the monster that lived under your bed? Definitely not the Fisher-Price Little People!
2. Fisher-Price Gas Pump
Fisher-Price made the perfect toys to introduce us to the real world, and yes, that apparently also included how to pump your own gas.
3. See ‘N Say Farmer Says
Seriously, where would society be without this perennial favorite?! I mean it taught us that the cow goes “moo”!
These toys had no business being as fun as they were, essentially they were just reusable stickers. But maybe it was the perfectly cartoony design or the simplicity that had us coming back to play with it? Actually, scratch that, it was the addictive plastic smell that had us hooked.
6. Fisher-Price Medical Kit
Let’s be honest, the only thing you really played with in this kit was the stethoscope. But, bonus, the kit did also make a good storage case to carry around other toys!
During the 1980s Gumby had a huge revival, and this stretchy/posable figure was the perfect toy for little kids, as it was virtually indestructible. The one drawback was that, yes, you could eventually pull him apart and expose the wires that made him so darn posable, and maybe poke an eye out.
8. Mini Piano
This toy provided exactly 20 minutes of fun before you got bored and moved on to another toy — that is, unless your parents got tired of hearing the annoying beeps and took it away before you had a chance to finish playing with it.
10. Sit’ n Spin
This thing was a basically a step above playing with an empty box, cause it didn’t do anything other than spin, but somehow, it still provided hours of entertainment.
11. Care Bears
The Care Bears ruled the ’80s, and you want to know why? Because they were created by the greeting card company American Greetings, who pushed them on unsuspecting parents and grandparents, and guilted them into buying them as an “I love you” gift. Plus, their soft bodies and pastel colors made them irresistible to little kids.
12. Fisher-Price Family Farm
Aside from the Little People, the biggest seller here was the animals. Every little kid wanted to play with farm animals!
13. Fisher-Price Music Box Teaching Clock
This longtime favorite was supposed to teach you how to tell time, but in reality, it was just fun to wind it up and watch it turn from day to night.
14. E.T. Vinyl Doll
How big was E.T.? It was like Frozen x The Lion King plus a million. Seriously, it was huge, and of course had a natural appeal toward little kids, which made this vinyl doll (which felt so creepy to touch) a must have.
15. Poppin’ Pals
This toy was probably more for babies than preschoolers, but its pop-up action made it lots of fun to play with.
16. Smurfs Play Camera
This toy was a double winner, not only was it a play camera (allowing you to feel oh so grown-up), but it was also Smurf-themed. SMURF-THEMED!
Another perennial favorite that while simple provided hours of fun.
19. Fisher-Price Cash Register
I don’t know if this was supposed to teach you how to use money, but I do know that the biggest appeal of this toy was popping that drawer open.
20. Tree Tots Family Tree House
This little house was perfectly designed to capture your imagination. It was a tree that with the push of a button (on the top of the tree) revealed a three-room house, that came complete with an elevator, staircase, swing, and garage.
21. Rub-A-Dub Dog
This toy pulled double duty. It was not only a bath toy, it was also a sponge (not a very good one, but still).
22. Fisher-Price Little People Play Family House
In the ’80s, the Little People upgraded themselves to some pretty posh homes (blame the yuppies?). Yes they were the exact same house, but most kids were either Team Yellow Roof or Team Tudor House.
23. My Buddy and Kid Sister
You know why you wanted one of these dolls? Because of the jingle from the commercial, which probably still lingers in the deep recesses of your mind.
24. Fisher-Price Tape Recorder
This had one huge advantage over the Fisher-Price Record Player: IT COULD RECORD YOUR VOICE!
25. Snoopy Sno-cone Machine
No hot summer day was complete without this classic toy. Sure, it took all your preschool body strength to get three slivers of ice slushy, but all that hard work made it taste extra good.
26. Fisher-Price Magic Burner Play Stove Top Range
OK, so this probably gives you chills ‘cause it looks like the hot plate you had in college, but back in the ’80s this bad boy wasn’t just a pretend stove, it was a pretend stove that also lit up red!
27. Sweet Pickles Bus
OK, so this wasn’t a toy, but it was shaped like a bus and had a sticker that featured all the characters on it — which for fans of the book series made it an immediate toy (since no tie-in toy line was ever produced for it).
28. Little Boppers
These were basically like those dancing flowers that moved to music, expect they went one step further and actually moved around and danced. Yup, DANCED!
29. Speak & Spell
These really weren’t designed for preschoolers, but all those buttons and the voice action made them an irresistible toy to little kids.
Popples was one of the only toys that was perfect for both playing with and napping with.
31. Fisher-Price Parking Ramp Service Center Parking Garage
This was the ultimate Little People play set (sorry, airport), mainly because you could race the cars down the ramp (with the Little People riding them), but the crank elevator also had its appeal.
32. Big Wheels
Hands down the best toy a preschooler could hope to get and play with. Sure, you probably fell off this thing more times than you could remember, but it really was your first taste of freedom and playing like a big kid.
So how many of these did YOU have or at least play with. Let me know in the comments. Thanks!
Sheldon Cooper has some of the most hilarious ways of teaching us about physics and life in general on the hit show “The Big Bang Theory”!
CBS / Via forum.the-big-bang-theory.com
2. Relationships aren’t for everyone.
CBS / Via bite.ca
3. Neither are organized sports.
CBS / Via giphy.com
4. Don’t put up with insults.
CBS / Via rebloggy.com
5. Don’t believe everything you hear.
CBS / Via bigbangfamilyguyquotes.tumblr.com
6. Don’t be afraid of the future.
CBS / Via fyeahbigbangtheorygifs.tumblr.com
7. You should always tell the truth.
CBS / Via rebloggy.com
8. Lend an ear to anyone who needs to talk.
CBS / Via streetsofnowhere.tumblr.com
9. It’s OK to ask questions.
CBS / Via fodrizzle.com
10. It’s OK to be an introvert.
CBS / Via imgfave.com
11. It’s important to keep your emotions in check.
CBS / Via nesbyte.blogspot.com
12. Maintaining friendships can be hard.
CBS / Via shitsheldoncoopersays.tumblr.com
13. Getting away with things can be hard.
CBS / Via imgfave.com
14. Music is a great escape.
CBS / Via killallthestarks.tumblr.com
15. Exercise is important.
CBS / Via bellearound.blogspot.com
16. Be cautious of germs.
CBS / Via wafelisen.tumblr.com
17. Give credit where credit is due.
CBS / Via lightningwars.tumblr.com
18. Facial expressions mean everything.
CBS / Via fuckyeahreactions.tumblr.com
19. If you’ve got it, flaunt it.
CBS / Via bigbangmemes.com
20. And last, but certainly not least, how to scare away a bird.
CBS / Via giphy.com
These photos all cat owners will definitely relate to. Cats sure are one mysterious animal.
They’re not always the best indoor hunters.
They’re powerless to resist boxes.
They send you ominous messages.
They multiply in suspicious ways.
They make Snapchat worth using.
They change their minds often, and at the most inconvenient times.
They’re always ready for their next sneak attack.
They don’t care if that diet Coke belongs to God himself.
Cats have mysterious interests that you will never fathom
They will destroy everything you love.
They fight like warriors on the daily.
They need your help sometimes, though they would never admit it.
They’re smart enough to be suspicious of your intentions.
They have lots of hunting fails.
They don’t always think things through.
They can get stuck in the weirdest place. Like how did this even happen?
They usually like the boxes their toys came in more than their toys.
Cats are petty AF.
They tolerate your love of arts and crafts.
They can secretly fly.
They’re vomit opportunists.
They provide hours of entertainment. Like Facebook, only without your racist uncle.
They’re very photogenic. Unlike you.
They’re cute when they’re happy but they’re cuter when they’re mad.
They will laugh at all your attempts to restrain them.
They really do have dangerous curiosity.
They hate Christmas.
They have no concept of their body size.
They have clear petting boundaries.
They’re nice. When nobody’s looking.
When nuns are admitted to Heaven they go through a special gate and are expected to make one last confession before they become angels.
Several nuns are lined up at this gate waiting to be absolved of their last sins before they are made holy.
“And so,” says St. Peter, “have you ever had any contact with a penis?”
“Well,” says the first nun in line, “I did once just touch the tip of one with the tip of my finger.”
“OK,” says St. Peter, “dip your finger in the holy water and pass on into heaven.
” The next nun admits, “Well, yes, I did once get carried away and I, you know, sort of massaged one a bit.”
“OK,” says St. Peter, “rinse your hand in the holy water and pass on into heaven.”
Suddenly there is some jostling in the line and one of the nuns is trying to cut in front.
“Well now, what’s going on here?” says St. Peter.
“Well, your excellency,” says the nun who is trying to improve her position in line, “If I’m going to have to gargle that stuff, I want to do it before Sister Mary Thomas sticks her ass in it.”
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, “What would you like to discuss?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the stranger. “How about nuclear power?”
“OK,” said Little Johnny. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. “A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”
“Jeez,” said the stranger. “I have no idea.”
“Well, then,” said Little Johnny, “How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know shit?”
A collection of funny but slightly naughty pictures to brighten your mood and hopefully give you a laugh or two. 🙂
No doubt about it, seriously might be time to MOVE!