9.Set a “pee-pee timer” for every 30 minutes to help remind your little boy or girl to try to go.
10.There’s no shame in resorting to bribery. When your child sits on the potty on their own, start out with big rewards, like a little toy or ice cream, and gradually decrease to small awards, like M&Ms or jelly beans.
11.If you prefer not to use candy, hit up the dollar store: Try stickers, stamps, coins for their piggy bank, or a toy set with multiple pieces for the bath, and let them have one or two for every time they go one or two. Hugs and songs can work too.
12.Another incentive recommended is to let them pick out a poster they like, hang it in the bathroom, then cover up the good parts with a post-it note.
13.Sing “Wipe, seat down, flush, wash your hands” to any melody to help them remember all of the steps.
14.If they have an accident, have them help with clean up.
15.Save yourself some back strain by letting the little one wash their hands with the bathtub faucet (just make sure it’s not too hot).
16.Pantyliners can be a cheap alternative to Pull-Ups or potty training pants if they’re still having occasional accidents, or have been potty trained but are leaking once in a while.
17.For kids who are resisting wearing underwear, they’ll be extra excited to wear a pair custom-made for them with iron-on paper.
18.Stick a disposable changing pad on the car seat to avoid constant cleaning up while accidents are still happening.
19.Like everything else with parenting, don’t stress too much about it. Just remember: You’re not going to send your kid to college in diapers.
This depends on context. If she is getting dressed then it is most likely somewhere between 30 and 40 minutes. If you are watching TV then it is closer to 0 minutes. As in “why are you watching TV right now when you should be doing something productive?”
18. Are you listening?
You are not listening. There is no way to recover from this.
19. *Loud sigh*
You might not think so, but this is actually a word and it can roughly be translated as “I can’t believe I have to stand here and put up with your stupidity”.
20. It’s up to you
If you think this means you have freedom to choose then you are very, very mistaken. A much better translation would be “It’s up to you…to select the right choice which I know but I am not going to tell you because you should know.” Making the wrong choice will usually result in an “It’s okay (see #16).
Two women friends had gone for a “girls night out.” They both were very faithful, loving wives… however, they had gotten a bit over enthusiastic on Margaritas at the Rio.
Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in a cemetery. One had nothing to wipe with so she decided to take off her panties and use them. Her friend, however, was wearing expensive panties and didn’t want to ruin them… luckily she had squatted next to a grave that had a fresh wreath with a ribbon on it… so she proceeded to wipe with that.
After the girls completed their “business” they continued toward home.
The following day, one of the husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed and hung over. He phoned the other husband, and said “These girls nights out have got to stop! I’m starting to suspect the worst! My wife came home with no panties!”
“That’s nothing!” said the other husband, “mine came back with a card stuck to her butt that read:
“FROM ALL OF US AT THE FIRE STATION… WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU!!!”
With it’s soft body design and light-up head, Glo Worm was the perfect preschool kid toy. I mean who else was going to protect you from the monster that lived under your bed? Definitely not the Fisher-Price Little People!
These toys had no business being as fun as they were, essentially they were just reusable stickers. But maybe it was the perfectly cartoony design or the simplicity that had us coming back to play with it? Actually, scratch that, it was the addictive plastic smell that had us hooked.
During the 1980s Gumby had a huge revival, and this stretchy/posable figure was the perfect toy for little kids, as it was virtually indestructible. The one drawback was that, yes, you could eventually pull him apart and expose the wires that made him so darn posable, and maybe poke an eye out.
This toy provided exactly 20 minutes of fun before you got bored and moved on to another toy — that is, unless your parents got tired of hearing the annoying beeps and took it away before you had a chance to finish playing with it.
What kid didn’t want to talk to Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck? Sure, they didn’t say anything other then their name, but still you got a Disney character on the phone and it didn’t cost your parents two dollars a minute — looking at you, He-Man.
The Care Bears ruled the ’80s, and you want to know why? Because they were created by the greeting card company American Greetings, who pushed them on unsuspecting parents and grandparents, and guilted them into buying them as an “I love you” gift. Plus, their soft bodies and pastel colors made them irresistible to little kids.
How big was E.T.? It was like Frozen x The Lion King plus a million. Seriously, it was huge, and of course had a natural appeal toward little kids, which made this vinyl doll (which felt so creepy to touch) a must have.
This little house was perfectly designed to capture your imagination. It was a tree that with the push of a button (on the top of the tree) revealed a three-room house, that came complete with an elevator, staircase, swing, and garage.
OK, so this wasn’t a toy, but it was shaped like a bus and had a sticker that featured all the characters on it — which for fans of the book series made it an immediate toy (since no tie-in toy line was ever produced for it).
Hands down the best toy a preschooler could hope to get and play with. Sure, you probably fell off this thing more times than you could remember, but it really was your first taste of freedom and playing like a big kid.
So how many of these did YOU have or at least play with. Let me know in the comments. Thanks!
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, “What would you like to discuss?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the stranger. “How about nuclear power?”
“OK,” said Little Johnny. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. “A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”
“Jeez,” said the stranger. “I have no idea.”
“Well, then,” said Little Johnny, “How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know shit?”